Perfect strangers

Chapter 52

The morning was quick to approach as Meredith slowly opened her eyes and allowed them to adjust to the sun light that was shining through into their room. Annie was still sleeping peacefully in her Moses basket, still content from her last feed.

As Meredith stretched her arms above her head and yawned, she automatically rolled over and reached out to move closer to Derek but was met with a cold and empty bed. It was a smack back into reality for her as the memories of the day before came flooding back to her.

Since coming home they had hardly said two words to one another which meant they were living in silence and only communicating when it came to Annie.

However, a loud crash from downstairs caused Meredith to bolt up and frown. She quickly checked on Annie before rushing downstairs to check on Derek. As she got to the bottom of the stairs she listened as the commotion was coming from the kitchen so she slowly made her way there.

"Come on." Derek spoke to himself as he attempted to make breakfast with only one hand.

She watched as he struggled to make a fresh pot of coffee as a frown was etched across his face clearly beyond frustrated at this stage. Deciding that she couldn't watch it any longer, she moved further into the kitchen and stepped in front to help him.

"Oh." Derek said shocked as he wasn't expecting her to be awake yet. "Thanks. I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't." She quickly smiled at him before turning back to make the coffee for the two of them.

"I was trying to make you breakfast before you got up but apparently I can't do that right either." He sighed sadly as his head dropped down. "I just can't do anything right lately."

Meredith wanted nothing to reach out and wrap her arms around him, whispering encouraging words into his ear but he still hadn't apologised for his outburst the other day.

"Here." She pushed him his coffee before taking her own and heading back out of the kitchen.

"Mer stop." He watched as she stopped in her tracks but didn't turn to face him. "Can we talk, please?"

He waited nervously for an answer and watched as she took a deep breath in, her shoulders slumping forward.

"Let me just go and grab Annie, so she's down here with us and then we can talk." She glanced over her shoulder towards him and gave him a small smile before heading back upstairs.

He knew he was letting his injuries get the best of  him and even potentially destroy the best thing that had ever happened to him. But he was going to work his hardest to get it all back.

"Hey, there's my little girl." He cheered happily as Meredith walked in with Annie in her arms, who was now wide awake.

"Say hi daddy." Meredith grabbed Annie's tiny hand and watched as her little fingers stretched as she waved it towards Derek.

Annie was looking around the room with wide eyes as her mouth stretched in an o shape as she explored the world around her.

"I still can't believe that she's ours." Derek sighed as he ran his finger over the back of Annie's hand. "Like I wake up every morning and remember that she's all ours, it's just crazy. I mean my dad always told me what it would feel like but..."

"Is next level." Meredith finished for him as she looked up to meet his eyes.

This was the first time that Derek had truly looked at Meredith in the last few days and he could now see the dark circles under her eyes and the exhaustion that was evident in her eyes.

"Yeah." Derek sighed as he let go of Annie's hand and moved to brush the hair out of her face before resting his hand against her cheek, cupping it gently. "Mer..."

"Don't say my name like that." Meredith shook her head and moved out of his reach. "Because when you say my name like that it makes me want to just fall into your arms and forget everything but right now I feel like crying. We aren't us and I can't do that because I haven't forgiven you yet and I don't trust that you won't snap at me like that again..."

He watched as the women he loved crumbled in front of him and he truly realised in that moment that once again his temper had gotten the best of him. Usually he didn't care but right now, he cared more than ever as he felt his heart break.

"I'm just going to put her in her bouncer." Meredith wiped her eyes with her free hand before turning to walk into the living room.

He knew he should wait and give her some space but he needed to fix this and fix it now. So he followed behind her shortly and moved into the living room. Walking in, he watched as Meredith carefully placed Annie in her bouncer before covering her lightly with a blanket. She then moved and collapsed down onto the sofa, her feet curling underneath her.

"Don't you just stand there hovering." Meredith said with her eyes closed as she turned towards him and opened her eyes, a small smile on her face. "Come sit." She tapped the free space next to her.

"I'm sorry." Derek winced slightly as he sat down as he tried his best to get comfortable. "For everything, for the accident, for the way I spoke to you the other day, if I could take it all back then I would. But I can't and I hate that I made you feel the way you do, I don't think me saying sorry over and over will ever be enough. I will make this up to you, I will, until I take my last breath I will continue to make this up to you."

Meredith sat there and saw as the tears glistened in Derek's eyes before they slowly started to stream down his face. Out of habit, she reached out and wiped the tears away and smiled at him, she could see how much this had affected him but she couldn't forgiven him so easily.

"You was going to leave us." She pulled her hand away and placed it back in her lap. "You were willing to walk away and leave me to bring up our daughter alone after everything I've been through, I never expected that from you."

She watched as he opened his mouth to answer but was stopped when Meredith held her hand up and shook her hand. She wasn't finished yet.

"The accident wasn't your fault, it was the other driver who got behind the wheel of their car drunk. You couldn't have stopped it. I get that you was scared, I was too. I had to give birth to our daughter on the side of the road and watch you basically die in front of me. It was the worst and scariest time of my life. But once I knew that our daughter was healthy and you was alive, I was excited. Excited for us to finally have a family together. Everything just went so wrong, I don't want her to grow up like I did."

Meredith glanced over at her daughter who was now sleeping peacefully, a smile gracing her face as she couldn't stop looking at her daughter. From the minute she found out she was pregnant, she promised herself that their children would have a better upbringing then she did.

"That will never ever happen Mer." He reached and took her hand into his and squeezed it tightly. "I didn't really want to leave but I thought you would be better of without me, without me wallowing in self pity. I was wrong. My mom spoke to me that day, she gave me a wake up call that nothing else matters if I don't have you or Annie. I love you so much, both of you."

"I love you too." Even with everything going on, there was no denying that they did love each other and they would continue to say it no matter what.

Leaning forward Meredith ran her fingers gently across his cheeks before moving to brush her lips against his gently.

"I still haven't completely forgiven you." Meredith breathed as her forehead was resting against his. "But I don't want us to fight anymore. Plus, I can't sleep properly without you so can you sleep back in our bed tonight. Please?"

Derek smiled and watched as Meredith laughed softly before he leaned forward to capture her lips with his once again.

"Of course I can." He smiled. "Come here."

He held his good arm up and smiled as Meredith cuddled into his side, careful not to put too much pressure on him or knock his arm. Squeezing her tight, he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head. He was just grateful to have her back in her arms and he was never going to let her go again.