an illicit drug

one

"Meredith." Derek whispered, pushing her bangs behind her ear.

"Derek." Meredith whispered.

"We'll stay in touch right? E-mail?" Derek asked.
"Yeah. I'll miss you though." She admitted. That was the last thing she wanted to do. Catch feelings. They were only meant to be a fling. To scratch an itch they had.

'It was just for sex.' She had to remind herself. That catching feelings was something she couldn't do.

"So I'll see you in four years?" Derek chuckled.
"Yeah I guess. Maybe we'll match in the same residency program." Meredith softly answered.

"Yeah. And we'll still keep in touch with med school and everything."

"Yeah." Meredith said, biting her lip, fighting to say how she felt. Last thing she wanted was to make this harder for the both of them.

Meredith looked down at her wrist watch and saw she had to get going and go through security.

"I uhm, have to go." Meredith said.

"Oh. I'll help you bring your bag to the gate."

"Okay."

Derek opened the trunk of his car and grabbed Meredith's suitcases for her. He stood there for a moment watching her retreating back. He shut his trunk and walked with her in the line to check in.

He really hoped they'd keep in touch. It was supposed to be a fling but he didn't want to forget her. She was something different. You'd be daft if you left a woman like her.

"I guess this is it," Meredith said through tear filled eyes, trying so hard to fight her emotions.

"No," Derek said, cupping her cheeks, "This is just... we'll see each other again."

"You can't be sure of that," Meredith shook her head, her voice cracking

"I can," Derek nodded, his eyes getting wet, "If you promise," he swallowed her, "Promise me we'll keep in touch over e-mail." He moved his hand up to her hair and stroked it over her shoulder.

"Derek," Meredith bit her lip.

"Promise me, Meredith," he sounded desperate as he failed to keep eye contact.

"I promise," she whispered.

Derek looked her in the eyes for the first time and saw as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.
"There's no need for that," he chuckled as he wiped the tear with his thumb.

"You're the one to talk," a bit of a forced chuckle came out as she reached up to cup his cheeks.
Derek's hand dropped on her hips as he pulled her closer.

"We'll keep in touch," he managed to say.

"We'll keep in touch," she whispered, nodding. Searching his eyes with her. His dark deep blue eyes looked at her, with so much desperation as his hands gripped her tighter, not wanting to let go.

Derek leaned down closer as Meredith closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his, "We'll keep in touch," she said, more of reassuring herself.

Derek nodded and leaned down to capture her lips in his. Meredith's hand wrapped around his neck. She deepened the kiss by parting her lips and letting Derek invade the cavern of her mouth one last time. One last time before everything disappeared before her as always.

"Goodbye Derek," she smiled weakly as she pulled away.

"See you later Meredith," he smiled as he took wonder in her eyes one last time.

They parted ways both wondering if they will ever see each other. Both wondering what difference would it have made if they truly told what they felt for each other or would it have blown up in their faces.

hood over your head
keep your eyes down
and what started in beautiful rooms
ends with meetings in parking lots

Surgeons don't have time for relationships
That's what she had to keep telling herself. That a relationship wouldn't work.

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
you showed me colors
you know i can't see with anyone else

i hope you enjoyed this chapter. if anyone remembers i had originally published this story back in september but took it down about 2 months ago to rewrite it. but it's back now : )