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Daechwita

"You really had me there, Y/N. I really fell into the same trap the rest of these idiots let themselves believe." 

Jimin's not holding back as he approaches me, but this time Jin steps aside letting Jimin get right in my face. I shrivel, I'd never felt like a flower but in this moment I'm wilting into myself as I hide my head in my hands. I'm terrified, for the first time being with them, I truly feel like the war raging around me is ready to swallow me whole. I can't speak as he leans down to speak at me,

"After all this time, you managed to snag Yoongi. Fucking ridiculous. I should have stuck with my gut." 

My heart and my head are pounding as my knees give in, I'm on the floor in a pool of my own tears and not a single person is shifting as they watch everything unfold. 

"It's not what it looks like. Nothing ever happened! Y/N and I haven't done anything!" Yoongi roars, shouting at Jimin directly. Jimin doesn't move though, he's still staring down on me as I sob like a small child on the floor. The apartment echoes as the air thickens, everything is so loud and the sounds of the other members shifting uncomfortably are all I can hear. 

"Yeah, right. She fancied you from the second she got here and you finally fell for it. Did you get jealous, that night when you heard them? Or is that what tipped you over the edge?"  Jimin's harsh words force me to move.

 I crawl forward out from under his towering figure as I sprint down the hallway to the bathroom. I can't help but sob as I lean over the sink and heave. I try to hold my hair back as I'm sick over and over, the thought of using Jungkook to get to Yoongi physically disgusts me. They were right, I'd liked Yoongi initially. But I would have never used either of them to get to him. I tried to recall the day in the photo, but nothing was clear. I couldn't see, speak, think. I can hear the members shouting, even Tae and Hobi are raising their voices and there's no sign of Jungkook returning. Namjoon's voice gets especially agitated and their talking so fast I can't decipher anything. The argument gets so loud I can hear security rush through the door. My home was being ripped apart and I couldn't even remember the conversation that had resulted in such a photo. 

Soon, silence falls. No-one comes to find me as I sit against the bathroom wall, the shower pounding down on my back. I wait, counting the doors as they slam shut. After the sixth door clicks closed, I slowly get out and rush to get dressed. My room was the furthest from the bathroom, which meant there was no chance I was going to risk running into anyone. I figured Jungkook wouldn't return for the night and tip toed through the apartment. I grab a bottle from the fridge and head to the balcony for a smoke, something to take the edge off and fresh air to clear my head. 

'It's time to leave, before I really ruin everything for all of us'. I thought, opening the door I'm startled to see Yoongi nursing a black eye. 

"Took your time. Are you okay?" His voice is shaking, his hand pressing an ice pack to his face he drips it to show the full force of what had happened. 

"Yoongi! What the hell happened? I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I've really messed everything up this time. But I swear, this wasn't about you." I cover my mouth in horror as he gives me a small smile. 

"Joon's been working out, so it's probably worse than it looks." He's trying to joke, but he misses the mark by miles. While I feel a desperate need to look after him, I can't get close. I stay as far away from him as humanly possible and he realizes quickly what I'm doing. 

"Did we kiss and I missed it or something? Why are you acting like you've done something wrong? I don't think for a second that you still want me. We've been through this, and I think I know better than you how you've been feeling." 

I shake my head, sobbing. He tries to move closer but I flinch as he reaches out. He's shocked, I can see it in his eyes as he retracts his hand. 

"If you liked me, you'd let me touch you right now... but you're shaking like a leaf. Are you, scared of me now?" His voice sounds hurt, and I know that I'm wrong to blame him. But the idea that him touching me can cause this much hurt outweighs everything. I may need the comfort, but I know I can't let him. 

"I'm not scared of you, Yoongi-hyung...." I keep taking short sharp breaths as I try to speak, but my voice breaks. "I'm scared of the photos. I'm scared of the rumors and the hurt. God, did you see Jungkook? And Namjoon hit you!" 

Again, he reaches out, he pauses when I don't lean into him. There's pity in his eyes as he shakes his head. 

"We've broken you, Y/N. I'm so sorry this happened. It's all my fault." 

I leave him there as he tries to apologize, while we both know this isn't either of our fault regret hangs over the suite as I rush to the bedroom and collapse on the bed. Sleep doesn't come easy, despite finally hearing Yoongi's door click closed from down the hallway. I can't hear Namjoon or Jungkook snoring, but I can't tell who's awake or even still here as I slowly drift into a sleep filled with nightmares. Compared to my reality, the nightmares are child's play.