Sunflowers | GonKillu

Reminded x and x delighted

I gently let go of the handle, the door returning to its original stance of being closed with a creak. The gentle patter of rain fell upon the glass window of the door, and my eyes gazed softly upon the darkened streets outside. My heart pittered with the rain, a sense of calmness coming over me. Then, a warm comforting hand placed itself abruptly onto my shoulder and I looked behind be quickly. "Hi Killu! Why are you over here by the door? Come on let's go to our room-" a boy chuckled warmly, Gon. A smile drew itself onto my face as I followed him away from the door into the more brightly lit corridors of the hotel we are in.

I gently held Gon's hand as ours swayed quietly in sync, my heart fluttering slightly. He held a content grin on his features as his eyes were placed placidly on the hall infront of us as we walked. All I could do is admire the view, of my best friend. As we went into our hotel room, the door clicked behind us and Gon let go of my hand. I frowned at the loss of contact, and saw Gon joyfully approch a girl with dark black flowy hair- Violet. My eyes dimmed as I saw Gon embrace her and place a loving kiss upon her lips as she did the same, "How are you my love?" She asked, and Gon chuckled, "Killua and I went on a walk! But it started raining and so.. here we are!"

I watched the two of them continue to chat lovingly and embrace eachother like a couple of lovestruck children. My heart grew as heavy as a boulder sinking past my chest into my feet. I dragged my feet heavily across the tiled floor, eyes glued to the tiles to not suffer anymore by the sight of the boy I love with his love. I departed to the master-bedroom we all shared, and sunk into my bed. My eyes glanced over to the beds beside me, scooted over to make a full sized. Everything hurts. My eyes closed heavily, and my breathing stopped. Slow, dreadful breaths heaved out of my chest.

Suddenly I shot up, a heaving cough erupting from my chest, painful and dry. Something was stuck I'm my chest. My lungs burned and my throat stinged and I coughed out blood onto my hands following a couple petals, long yellow ones stained with a dark red. My breathing calmed down, and then pain in my lungs was quickly replaced by the pain in my heart. My teeth clenched as I thought of them. Why was I invited to travel with the two of them? To suffer? I may be 17 but... I still have a hopeless crush on my best friend.

And he's hopelessly in love with Violet. A 21 year old 1-star Hunter whom he met at the world tree. Her namesake violet colored eyes were dark but loving, and her skin light and fair like mine. The perfect girl, I thought. Certainly to Gon, she is. They got together when Gon was 15... I was set aside. For 2 years now I've been a third wheel, but Gon keeps me by his side stubbornly regardless. There have been points to where I tried to leave, to end my suffering by only being there to emotionally support for Gon- but he always kept me with him, pleading for me not to leave him alone. Claiming that I'm his favorite friend he needs me.

If he needed me so much, then why would he always abandon me to go on dates with his girlfriend? It's like he likes to see me suffer... seeing the one I love with a girl who stole his heart. That was supposed to be me and him... But he has said himself that he only likes girls. Maybe if I was a girl, he would give me a chance..? Regardless, for a while now I've been diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease. It's been getting worse and worse, yet Gon doesn't even notice. My feelings for him will never be returned, I know that for sure. But I don't want to surgically remove the flowers. I don't want to stop loving Gon. He is my everything.

So.. my other option is to just end it before it can end me. From under the pillow I took out the medicine I have to take for my disease, to help stop the spreading of the flowers. I take 7 bitter pills, they tasting like rotted petals and insecticide. If I wasn't immune to poison, this would cause side effects. I don't care if I overdose with these, my life is pointless. Death is also pointless. The only reason I'm alive is to see the smile on Gon's face. As soon as I mention that, Gon walks into the room alone and looks at me. I confusingly glance over at him, and he walked over and smiled as he sat down next to me, "Hey Killua- wanna play a game with Vivi and me?" He chirped, using his dumb nickname for his girlfriend.

I sighed softly and looked at the floor, "... No thank you." I mutter out, and Gon whined and held my hand. This got my attention as a blush scattered softly across my face as I make eye contact. "Pretty please Killu?" He pled, looking into my eyes with his breathtaking hazel ones. I inhaled sharply, and caved in, "S-sure-" I sputter out, and Gon smiled brightly, "YAY- Come on Killu! Vivi is going to play card games with us!" He giggled childishly, and I smiled. As if the boy I loved for once wanted me, I held his hand tighter as we walked out of the room.

Gon might not love me but, god damn it I think I'm hopelessly infatuated with this man.