Recompense [Fólkvangr End, Book 1] [Loki Fanfiction]

Chapter Eleven

Author's Note: This is a new chapter. I have no idea what else to say. Please make sure to read, comment, vote and share the Loki feels! I don't own anything but the original plot, and original characters, all the rest belongs to Marvel and its respective partners.

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What a time to greet them back to bloody Asgard! They came yesterday, and I saw them briefly at dinner, but I went out of my way to sit far away from them and then I retired early to avoid them. Okay, maybe this isn't the best coping mechanism. I can sense Thor tagging along far behind me but he makes no moves to stop me. I raise my hand up to knock when I hear their voices within.

"Do you not see what this has done to her?" I hear my father shout and I press my ear to the cool door.

My mother argues back, "Of course I do! I am not blind to this, Gymir! You think I cannot feel her struggling, pushing us away? But what are we to do?"

"Be there for her!"

"I am trying! But she gets her bloody stubbornness from your Jotun blood running through her veins," my mother snaps back at him. I close my eyes and rest my head against the door with a light thud. "It's making her into something she's not. I pray she does not have the misfortune of seeing herself looking like a...a monster!"

I am not aware of the tears running down my cheeks until Thor's warm hand is wiping it away, cupping my face. He puts his arm around my waist, meaning to lead me away but I resist. Instead I push their door open and stand there just long enough to garner their attention.

"Thank you, for calling me a monster. I suppose I understand now what Loki meant," I say bitterly. "Lesson learned, Loki." I mutter to myself.

Thor ushers me away with a reproachful look in the direction of my parents, who say and do nothing. Of course they don't. My hands ball into fists at my sides.

A monster. That's what I am. That's what my own mother sees me as.

"Take me to Loki and let me alone with him. We have some matters to discuss," I command Thor who is hesitant to say anything to me right now. His worry is justified--I can feel the anger coursing through my icy veins. My feet feel heavy as I trail alongside Thor, my mind wrapped up in its own cocoon of whirling thoughts. Is this what I am condemned to? A life where I can now only be viewed as some monster that cannot be tolerated nor tamed? I didn't ask for this! It was thrust upon me unfairly, undeservedly. Is not that what happened to Loki? Now I suppose I understand his own anguish a bit more clearly.

Oh dear gods, my internal monologue is starting to sound like Shakespeare.

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"Loki!" I yell, my voice reverberating off of the dank stone walls. Thor is struggling to keep up with me. Long legs provide one advantage, I suppose. I am on the very cusp of breaking into a run, desperate to...I don't know. Yell at him? Punch him in the face?

No. I just want to talk to him. I want to be civil. And yes, I want him to change me back. But that isn't the important part. I want so desperately to discuss this with him because I think I may be beginning to understand his whole complex. It's not that difficult when I think about it—because now I understand the pain, and the rage, and the isolation. Of course, not to the extent that I would get my brother banished or try to get the entirety of the human race to subject themselves to my will out of some sycophantic desire. But in this brief period of time if I have felt even a miniscule amount of what Loki felt, I can imagine what might have pushed him over the edge.

"Have you come to grovel?"

"No!" I snap at Loki and he just keeps smiling his stupid-ass smile.

"Shame," Loki shrugs.

"Shut the fuck up and make it stop!" I beg, any façade of control slipping away.

"Brother, please," Thor speaks up on my behalf. I push him away.

"Leave us be, Thor, I have some things I wish to discuss with Loki," I state, gritting my teeth, fingers curling. Thor backs away but I can sense he is not quite gone. I cross slowly around the cage, like I am circling my prey, and I get to the door. I place my hand on the door and pull it open, my eyes never leaving his.

"We need to talk," I lower my voice.

He arches an eyebrow, "Do we? I cannot fathom what more you could have to say to me."

I sigh and he turns away. I cross quickly to him, reaching out and grabbing his arm, wrenching him towards me. He looks surprised, but purses his lips and says nothing else on the matter. "I don't want to, but I guess I should apologize."

His expression softens infinitesimally. "Apologize?" He sounds skeptical.

I look down to where my hand still grips his arm tightly and I bite my lip quickly. "Yeah, look, I've been kind of terrible to you...and to be completely fair, you've been no walk in the park either, but I don't want it to be like this. I have a plan, and I need you. I need you on my side. I can help you if you let me.

At first I couldn't figure you out...I mean, why? Why would you do it all? Then I felt it. When you showed me...this...I mean, who I really am. This has been awful. I am dizzy and angry and filled with this sense of despair I just can't shake. I watched people I thought loved me shy away because now they think I am some sort of monster. But all that you've done is force me to realize that this is the way it is. The way it will always be...that the people of Asgard cannot help but see me...us as monsters."

Loki smirks, but he doesn't say anything. I let go of his arm and I take a step back, uncertain of where to go from here. We've reached a level of understanding, I hope, but I don't know what this will mean for the future. I turn to go, however, Loki's hand on my shoulder startles me and stops me in my tracks. He turns me about and leers at me and I pull back to punch him in the face, but he catches my hand and holds it tightly, close to his chest. I look down and notice the blue pigment has faded from my skin. His skin feels warm against mine, but as quickly as he snatched my hand, he drops it like it repulses him and he turns away again.

"You are welcome, Valkyrie," he mutters.

My breath catches in my throat, "I, uh...thanks."