To My Love

To My Love: I Pray

I had it clutched in my hands. James looked at it like it was a bar of gold. I looked at it as my beginning. "We have it."
"Yes...now what."
"Well, I suppose we go see the queen mother?"
"So soon?"
"Yes we must start here-"
"I am with a child."
Yet again the curtain of silence. But this time it suffocated me. James's eyes were ice and blue. More blue than usual. I could feel a small tear drizzle down my cheek and fall off my chin. I became hot and regret even saying a word. He looked up from his silence and his eyes became pink and puffy. He leaned his forehead against mine and I could not help but begin to cry. Not just one tear, but a swarm of them. Falling and pouring down and off of my face. My sons were silent. Why am I crying? I thought to myself. "We." He corrected me like usual. "We are with a child." He said as he took both his palms and placed them on my cheeks, letting my tears soak into his skin.

Later that day we decided it was time. Before I began to show and before it was too late. We grabbed the paper Esra signed, handing over his throne to me. I practiced Queen Ruth over and over in my head. Queen. It was an odd thing to call myself. James sat across from me in the blue carriage holding my hand.
"How long?"
"What do you mean?"
"How long have you been with a child?"
I paused and began to think about that for myself. How long have I been pregnant with a bared? And then I remembered our first time we laid with each other. "Two months." I answered. It seemed like a good chunk of time. But I had only found out last week. "Two months? You age known for so long?" James panicked
"No I have only known for a week, but I suspect it began when we first made love...you did finish inside of me." I smiled as if I was a child telling a dirty joke. James smiled as well, as he thought back to the time we first made love. I thought about it almost at the same time.

We arrived at the castle. It was grand and almost hadn't changed a single bit since I was a young child. I gave James a look of gratitude as to thank him for getting me here. But then his eyes told me thank you. Maybe I could talk to him with my eyes. We began to walk up to the large grand doors, beyond the bridge that crossed over the mote. We had sent a letter ahead announcing our arrival. I just prayed that they did not take that as a hostile situation. Almost as soon as the guards opened up the door, there she was. My grandmother. Standing tall and graceful, and not looking as old as she was. Her face was not of welcoming gratitude. It was of anger and a touch of fear. At this moment I had more power than her, and she knew it.
I thought I should make my first order as queen. "Lock her away and schedule her for beheading." I ordered. The guards stared at me in disbelief and my grandmother in shock. I pulled out the paper and held it in front of the two guards faces. He nodded of approval to each other and grabbed her by her arms. "What? No! You fools I am your queen." They blocked out her shouts and so did I. Oh it pained me to see that beautiful dress get dragged on this dirty floor. James looked at me in disbelief and then in approval, just as the guards did.

Later that day I made it public. I was the new queen. The gossip was constant and non stop. After I threw a ball it simmered down and almost came to a halt. I danced with James and spoke with the nobles. I gossiped with the lady's of the court and told them of my plans to marry James and make him the king of Scotland. I knew they were spread it like a wildfire, that's exactly why I told them. I needed people to prepare and this was the best way to do it. Things moved fast and time moved slow. Event after event just hit me over and over every hour. I had already had a request for trade of grain and livestock. And many others considering money.
After the party and a long night of talking to millions of strangers I met James in his quarters. If the servants chose to gossip I could be ruined for sex out of wedlock. But I didn't care. My body burned for his and his burned for me. The thirsty look In his was unreal but what came out of his mouth was more unbelievable. "Dance with me, my love." He whispered to me while I unbuttoned his shirt. I had no problem with dancing with him. Just as long as he held me tonight.

We swayed and moved along the rug on the floor. His eyes. They were like an ocean with no end. I ran my fingers through his hair and stroked his face. His beautiful face. "I think King will suit you." I said
"I want to be more than king."
We stopped and held each other. I was confused by his words. "What more could you need?"
"I want to be your husband...not just your King."
I took a breath in relief and let a smile wedge onto my face. "You will always be more than my husband and my King...you are my future."
He looked at me with love in his eyes. Almost hearts shaped in his pupils. He kissed me and lifted my bare feet from the ground. Dancing was no longer enough to show the feelings we were enduring at that moment. He began to bring me to the bed. He dismissed the servants and put his full attention on me. I was like a bitch in heat. I needed him. I wanted him. Like I always do. But then he stopped and looked at me with concern. "What?" I asked. "Will it hurt the bared? If we..." he asked. I giggled at his concern. "No the babe will be just fine." And then her began to kiss me again. Lifting up my dress and shifting my sleeves down, exposing my breasts. He entered me with grace. It almost felt like nothing at first until he began to thrust slowly in a circular motion. It hurt in a good way. Tears shed from our eyes as we were grateful for this love we shared. It was not a sob, but a gracious thankfulness for each other. He began to pleasure me with his mouth and I began to waterboard him with my juices. I'd like to think of myself as a ripe, sweet, peach that when you bite into it, all there is is juices that fill your mouth and you just can't get enough.
We laid in the large bed under the covers. James had his head propped up on my stomach, listening for the tiny bean. Well the bared was maybe the shape of a plum at this point if I was as far along as I thought. "Do you think-"
"Shh" he interrupted me. "I'm trying to listen to her." He said while adjusting his ear to a different place on my stomach. "Him." I corrected. "I believe it's a him."