History Repeating Itself

My late believer

TW: Violence, sickness and death.
(These events occurred on 2011/2012)

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Some day in my life when I was around 6-7 years old, I was in 1st grade, my brother was in 3rd grade of primary school. His friend came over because he missed school and wanted my brother to give him the lessons and homework the teachers handed the class during his absence. My brother handed him a piece of paper that had what he needed and went back to his room to get something else.

While the guy was waiting in the hallway I was standing near him. The boy bit off a piece of paper and spat it on me. I felt sad, so I walked away to my parents' room without saying a word.

My dad was laying in bed, and he noticed my sad expression, he asked what was wrong, and I denied that anything was bothering me. However, I kept pacing around in the room because I didn't wanna go out to see the guy again. Then he asked again and I told him that the guy spat on me.

I wasn't waiting for him to attack the guy but I also didn't expect him to assume that I lied.
He hinted to my mom who had just walked into the room to get out. Unaware, he closed the door and shut the blinds. I didn't know what was happening so I just opened the door and was going to leave the room until he gripped my arm and shut the door again and told me to stay in the room.

He took out a belt... Yeah, you guessed right, he gave me a good beating. He was yelling at me, "WHY DO YOU LIE? WHY ARE YOU LYING?"
I couldnt speak because I was crying from the pain that rushed through me every time he swung the belt and hit me, and the only sentence that slipped out from my mouth was "I SWEAR IM NOT LYING".

Another trauma, another effect, another quality. Ever since that day, I hated lies, I swore to never lie again even if it meant to hurt people, and to never keep down my emotions either. I swore to become a brutally honest person.

I feel gross. how could a human be so cruel. I got spat on and got punished for it? why is everyone so against me? It feels like everything is being thrown against me.

But at least I had someone who believed me, and stood up for me, the one and only person who was always there for me and loved me.

My grandfather, he always loved me in his own way. He would always take me out to go to the park, or eat something, buy me candy, pay for my school trips, spoil me, and never let anything be missing in my life, he knew how bad my what so called "home" was, so he made sure to keep that smile on my face for as long as he lived.

And just as I was getting used to being loved, and believed by someone, a cloud of storm came to deliver me true grief and woke me up to face reality, that was when I found out that he has been diagnosed having cancer, and it has been eating him up inside. I was only 8, yet I knew what it was and how dangerous it is... I had to see my grandpa getting transferred from a hospital to another, watched him throw up actual blood, and watched as his life was being swifted away from him. History will repeat itself.

And we all saw it coming, but maybe I wasn't ready to hear it so soon.
I woke up one early morning, it was a school day, I remember I looked at the time and it was 7:26 AM, it was loud, but it was quiet at the same time. I walked to my mom and told her, whats happening? And why haven't u woke me up already? She kneeled down, looked at me, grief in her eyes, as she told me "your grandfather passed away".

After hearing that, my throat tightened...I broke down to the floor and started crying, thinking that now not only I have lost my grandfather, someone I loved so much due to a terrible disease, but now I have no one to believe my words, no one to defend me, and no one i could rely on to give the piece of love my family couldn't. I thought I was alone again... and now he's just my late believer.