Sin

Chapter 1

I grew up in a big house, with a big family around. Things weren't easy. I don't remember much of my life back then, but there are a few things that are hard to forget.

Starting with the fact that we lived in the biggest house on the street, it was huge, so big that people used to walk by the street just to stare at the house. It had a big stone wall and a balcony. The big gate was made of high wood boards, and there were flowers everywhere.

We also had pets. I used to joke and say that we had our own little zoo. My mother's cousin, Alice owned two parrots, and she taught them how to say bad and funny words, I loved to scream and laugh with those two. My uncle had a cat, her name was Fur, and she was lovely. I always thought she didn't have a cat's mind because she was so nice to everyone, and she was a great company to all of us. My mom had a dog in the back yard, I don't even remember that dog's name, I hated him, he was mean and loud, and I was just a little girl, obviously, I was scared of him. I owned a small turtle, Penny, and an iguana her name was Penny, too. I guess I wasn't that creative back then.

The house had a lot of rooms, so my mom and I used to share a room. Since my dad left us my grandparents asked my mother to move back into the house so they could help her raising me. On the second floor of the house used to live my aunt Claire and her husband Matt, and my two cousins, Eve and Jared. Eve was four years older than me, and Jared was just a year younger than her. They lived at my grandparent's just for a short period of time, until they moved to their new house, which they were remodeling.

Eve was so creative, she always had the best game ideas in the world, and we wouldn't even play if she wasn't around to tell us what to do. Jared was fun and really nice to me, except for the times when my cousin David visited. David hated me, and when Jared was with him they did really mean things to me. I have this crazy belief that all of the fears I have now are because of all the mean things they used to do to me.

My mom loved and still loves Jared so much. He was like her little boy doll. I actually think she likes him better than me, her own daughter. My mom was great, she would buy presents for all of us almost every weekend, and she made the best breakfast for us every morning.

I remember the saddest day of my life as a child was the day when Eve and Jared moved out with their parents. I wouldn't even speak after they left. I was devastated and not even playing with Fur made me happy. My mom was so worried about me so she let me stay at their new house almost every weekend until I got used to the fact that they weren't around in the house anymore. I was obviously overreacting since I got to see them every day at school. We weren't in the same grade, but we used to play and see each other during breaks and lunchtime. But since I was such a shy little girl, I felt like they were the only good thing in my life, and they were my only friends.

My mother's friends used to tell her that her little Anna was weird and that she should probably send me to summer camp or something like that so I could socialize. So she did, she sent me to the worst summer camp ever when I was about ten years old, but my aunt Claire sent Jared and Eve there too, and David's father, Louis sent him as well, so it wasn't that bad. I made friends there since I couldn't spend a lot of time with my two cousins because the summer camp was divided according to our ages. I was in the ten and eleven years old group with David, and Eve and Jared were in the next crew.

This part of my childhood was probably where it all began, or that's what I have always believed. During that summer David did a lot of mean things to me. He used to make fun of me because I was overweight for my age, and he made everyone laugh at me every time I ate something or every time I wore something tight. But during that summer camp something changed too, Jared didn't back him up, instead, he defended me all of the time, and he was with me when I cried trying to make me laugh. I felt safe with him, and in a way, I felt like I needed him.