"The Hammersmith Ghost started haunting Black Lion Lane and St. Paul's Churchyard in 1804. One night an Excise Officer Francis Smith filled his blunderbuss with shot, and himself with ale, before killing an unfortunate white-clothed bricklayer, Thomas Millwood, whom he had mistaken for the ghost."
~ Plaque at the Black Lion Pub, London
Emile, Chad, and Bexley turn on like lightbulbs at Zandra's suggestion of a ghost hunt. The others are less convinced.
"That's a nice way to put tripping over each other in the dark," Carter says, pausing his snifter beneath his chin between sips. "What are we, 12-year-old schoolgirls at a sleepover?"
"I've heard about this place. It's very haunted. They put it on one of those ghost shows on TV," Melvin says, looking over his shoulder into the abyss of Carey Manor beyond the lounge.
Ah, yes, the epicenter of science and reason: ghost-hunting shows on television. If only this little snipe hunt were really about that.
"Bullshit. Just like everything else about you, Zandra," Carter says.
"Don't tempt the spirits. They don't like that," Emile says with a hiss. "I felt their presences the minute I came in here. There are too many to count."
You must watch the same TV shows as Melvin.
"That's the spirit," Zandra says and nods to Sunglasses. He walks to the kitchen and returns with an armful of what appear to be AM/FM radios. The small, plastic squares come with a single speaker, an on/off button with a volume slider, a record button, and the letters "Paratechno Spirit Box 3000" printed on the sides.
Sunglasses hands a Spirit Box to every other guest, skipping Emile. They fiddle with the boxes as they receive them. Chad's turns on, and produces a squeal of radio static. He drops the box in surprise with a hollow thud that betrays any ideas about manufacturing quality.
"For those not blessed with the gifts of a third eye, these boxes are a shortcut to the spirit realm," Zandra says. "They quickly scan AM and FM radio frequencies. Because they require so little in terms of battery power to operate, even a low-voltage spirit can hop in and manipulate a frequency to select certain words."
The Crocodile finally speaks up. He says, "So it's like a walkie-talkie, but for ghosts?"
"That's correct, child," Zandra says and hacks into her sleeve. "Speaking out loud requires vibrating the air, which in turn vibrates parts of human ears, and that action gets interpreted by the brain as speech. The dearly departed lack vocal cords with which to vibrate physical air, but they can manipulate energy, such as the electricity in these Spirit Boxes. It's all science."
Actually, it's not. A long night of drinking would prove just as effective at hearing ghosts.
Chad's Spirit Box blurts out the word, "Science." Chad drops the box again.
A coincidence. A broken clock is right two times a day.
"Are you sure this is safe, Zandra? We have no idea what sorts of spirits are in this house," Emile says.
"Let's find out. We'll split into groups and spread out. If you pick something up, hit record on your Spirit Box. We'll meet back here in one hour to review the results," Zandra says. She assigns the groups before anyone has a chance to protest. Sunglasses heads off with the trio of Chad, Bexley, and The Crocodile. Carter, Melvin, and Hank join up to find common ground with which to complain.
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The Broken Clock is Right Thrice: Confessions of a Fake Psychic Detective #4
Mystery / ThrillerSeason 4 of Confessions of a Fake Psychic Detective Zandra, a famous "psychic" who grifts the grifters using only her wits, gave the worst of society plenty of reasons to want her dead during her long career. When she discovers someone from her past...
