𝙋𝙡𝙪𝙢𝙥

11

𝘓𝘦𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳

It's been 2 weeks sense the father of my child died, my mom basically disowned me I'm sleeping in the deceased love of my life's bed and I have to figure a way  to get my grades back up all within a month.

With everything I had going on I had no brain power nor ability for school anymore I physically and mentally couldn't do it anymore I quit the cheer team and I barely talked to anyone in these last 2 weeks besides Ms.Miller.

I've been going to school and doing my work , going through the motion and getting out of there for 2 weeks.

Today was Friday and the only thing on my mind was the way I would be baring my lover and bestfriend in 2 days.

I cried day and night thinking how was I going to do it? A daughter or son while in college ? What was I going to do.

I already had acceptance letters from colleges lined up and at this point I don't even know if I wanted to go anymore.

I was trying to keep it together for my baby this baby was my only motivation "how am I going to provide for my child" was driving me to do better and made me strive.

As I lay in dee's bed I just smelt his pillows his scent calmed me I could lay there all day.

"Hey , hey Leilani." I heard a soft voice say

"Come on baby you gotta get up and get ready for school I made you breakfast come on let's get up." His mom said holding her hand out to get me up

I had been crying all night all I could do was cry I was powerless and I was falling into depression. Sleeping and crying was my only way to let go and express my emotions with every tear that fell I felt more and more relieved just
letting it out I could cry for hours and hours.

"It's okay baby it's okay." His mom said wiping my tears and hugging me

I hugged her back tightly her hugs were so comforting

Eventually I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror my face was completely red I was a mess.

I turned the shower on and made sure to only use hot water I liked when I steamed the bathroom up it made me feel so at easy with my self I tried as many DIY stress relievers a day as I could possibly think of

As I washed my body I reminisced about all the good times me and dee had I looked down at my naked belly and rubbed it

"It's okay baby boy or girl we gone get through this and when you get older I'll tell you all about daddy." I said smiling

After doing my hygienes I hopped out the shower and continued getting ready

I might not have felt great but at least I wanted to look like I felt great so I tried today.