Wrong Number, Kid

The ✨Beginning✨

Peter

 Ned ned ned ned ned ned ned ned ned ned

 I just got a new phone, thanks for SMASHING my old one!!!

 srsly you should have just accepted that I beat you in Mario Kart, you didn't have to break my phone!!!!!!!

***** 

I'm sorry who is this and how did you get this number?

And who is ned, and why did they smash your phone?

Peter

haha ned, very funny, stop being so salty, it was one time, your still better than me

*****

I'm not sure who you are, but I can tell you, I am not a phone destroyer named ned

Peter

...........oh

wait

then who is this?????

*****

kid, i'm an alien

Peter

!!!!!!!!!

omg mx alian im so sorry for texting you dont lay eggs in meeeeeeee please

*****

jeez, i'm joking, calm down

Peter

but if your not an alien, then how did you know im a kid!?!?!?!?!?!

Are you a stalker?!?!?!

omg your a stalker 

are you stalking me???

are you

a

pEdOpHiLe!?!?!?!?!

*****

What? No! Kid, just calm down!

Peter

but then

HOW DID YOU KNOW I'M A KID IF YOU AREN'T STALKING ME!?!?!?!

*****

Kid, you play Mario Kart, your grammar is atrocious, you assumed i'm a pedophile which are people attracted to kids, you believed me when I said i'm an alien, and you said the name "Ned" like 10 times in a row, need I say more?

If you aren't a hyperactive child, then I don't know what you are.

Peter

...........i'm not a hyperactive child???

.

.

.

ok fine maybe a lil bit

*****

So, now that you know i'm not an alien pedophile that stalking you, who the cruck are you and how did you get this number?

*cruck

*stuck

*muck

wtf

F U C H

What the cruck did you do to my phone?

Peter

No swearing in this convo! There are ancient rules that might be as old as you are, saying that one must not swear in a text.

*****

......That was offensive and rude, and extremely untrue.

Peter

YoU wOuLd SwEaR iNfRoNt Of A cHiLd!?!?!?

*****

Kid, I don't know what kind of juice box you are on right now, but it's weird and I am honestly scared for your mental heath

Peter

Mental health?

whats that?

never heard of it

more espresso, less depresso I say

and you aren't in your senior year of high school! you probably went there in the dark ages where you didn't do anything except die!

so don't you judge me about my caffeinated juice boxes, or my life choices!!!

*****

again, ouch 

also, kid, you are EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY

when was the last time you slept?

Peter

oh idk, probably the last time I saw sunlight

*****

....which was when?

Peter

oh, maybe a week or 3 ago

*****

what!?!?!?!?!

You can't do that!

how are you not dead?

Peter

Im hard to get rid of lol

people try

but I always come back!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

*****

that is so unhealthy

wait

what do you mean people try?!?!?!

Peter

woops gtg, nice talk, have a good day!!!

*****

oh no you don't!!

Get back here and tell me why people try to get rid of you!!!

.

.

.

.

.

crap

First chapter: COMPLETE

Anxiety: still there

That was the first chapter of this story, I hope you guys liked it! I know it was kind of short, but I'm young, and its almost my bedtime, and my mom is terrifying (she just KNOWS when i'm still awake).