Fading away- Ava x Connor

Away from prying eyes

I unlocked the front door of my apartment and slammed it shut. I threw my bag and coat on the table and took a deep shaky breath. Why did I have to be pregnant? Ontop of everything else. I slipped my hands under my top and rested them on my flat stomach. I didn't know what to do. I have always wanted Kids but not like this. I couldn't have a child though, could I?

I let tears cascade down my face finally away from the others, behind a shut door I could let myself feel again. I knew it was stupid but I didn't want anyone to judge me at work, I didn't want be the 'girl with PTSD' or the 'girl who needs therapy' like I was in South Africa. I just wanted to be Ava Bekker the CT surgeon.

I slowly stood up and walked over the hob. I started pulling items from the shelves and set the pasta to cook over the stove.

Ten minutes later I drained the pasta and the boiling water poured into the drain. Just then my phone vibrated and the sound of ringing filled the room. In shock I lost control of the stream of water and it's burning touch fell over my arm. I winced but didn't remove it, I deserved the pain it was inflicted on me. The phone rang again bringing me back to the present.I placed the pan in the sink and brought the phone to my ear.

Hi, Ava's phone.
Dr Bekker, right?
Yes, that me, what can I help you with?
Mallory's dad here.
Are you okay you sound shaky.
Oh don't worry I'm fine (as I glanced over at my burned wrist)
I'm worried about the surgery tomorrow, I can't lose Her.
I know you are worried but we have the best surgeon in this hospital working on your daughter's case.
Dr Rhodes, right?
Yes Dr Rhodes, but I will be there as well to make sure Mallory goes under the anaesthetic okay and then she will be in Dr Rhodes hands after that.
I know, we have gone over this thousands of times I just can't seem to get over the fact that my little girl will be having major surgery.
I know this is tricky but it really is the best options for her. 
I know, I know, I feel like I'm wasting your time here.
Don't feel guilty, any parent would feel like this if there child was in Mallory's situation.
Okay, I guess. I am going to go.
Try to get some sleep and I will find you tomorrow before her surgery. Night
Night.

The phone clicked I was alone in my house again. The stinging sensation came back into my arm. I completely forgot I burned it. I wrapped it in a bandage and tipped the pasta into the bin, I wasn't hungry anymore anyways. I then threw a jumper on over my scrubs and climbed into bed without taking my clothes off as it had been a long day and I was too tired. I pulled the covers up to my shoulders and held my childhood teddy to my chest cuddling it. And slowly after much tossing and turning I fell asleep.