I will eat Chuuya.
Before doing so, I would like to hold him tenderly and get his consent, then gingerly put him in a large pot and submerge him in warm water before swiftly slitting his throat and washing off his body. Putting him on a chopping block, I would butcher him and separate the parts of his body. I would use his muscle for the stew, his hair and skin as a momento, his blood to turn into jewelry, his brain to preserve it, and his bones to keep as a bittersweet reminder of him; the other parts of him will be used as well, I'm sure.
I would then prepare the broth by using some of his bones, some herbs, and some vegetables for flavor, then remove them and add more vegetables as well as the raw, washed meat to the broth to cook. I would boil it for ~4 hours covered then stir it and taste. I would add salt to taste as well as some pepper.
I would serve it in fancy, orange glazed terracotta bowls to myself and Osamu Dazai. We would eat the stew with stainless steel spoons that have handles, which match the bowl, and we would eat it on March 17th, 2022 at 5:46 pm to watch the sunset under a willow tree on a grassy hill facing the city, where any parts of Chuuya we couldn't use will permanently rest. There will be a headstone made of polished granite, that has his name as well as the dates of his birth and death, and it would read,
"For the Tainted Sorrow:today too snow falls on it; For the Tainted Sorrow:today too wind blows on it. For the Tainted Sorrowis like, say, a fox's fur; For the Tainted Sorrowin its torpor dreams of death. For the Tainted Sorrowfrightens me piteously;For the Tainted Sorrowcan't be remedied, and the sun sets.." After enjoying the stew, me and Dazai would set our bowls to the side and enjoy a teary embrace before standing up and shutting off our emotions. I would put on Chuuya's hat despite it being worse for wear and unwashed, and we would walk solemnly home to a small apartment in the city. We would then pack up Chuuya's things and decide who gets what, and send an anonymous letter to Mori Ougai notifying him of Chuuya's death and the location of his headstone. Dazai would quit work with the detective agency, and we'd both live the rest of our lives together, hunting bugs and sleeping together on a worn couch in the small living room, as the bedroom I shared with Chuuya would bring me too much grief to sleep in.
