The Game

Chapter Forty-One

Day One – Continued

Aliya POV

I thought that I was ready to move on and that I was over Chris. Why does he have such a chokehold on me?

I walked inside of the house and I just basked in my thoughts. This has never happened before. I was so sure of what I wanted this time. Why is this happening? Why can't I move on from Chris? After everything that he has done to hurt me, part of me keeps wanting me to go back.

"Aliya, why cant you agree with me for once?!" Chris shouted and I could feel my blood begin to boil.

"I don't know who you're raising your voice at Christian, you know better than to try me." I said as I backed away from him.

"So what if I fucked up and fucked you over multiple times, that was all in the past and I've apologized over and over again. I'll say sorry until the end of time, just please Aliya. Let me be who you want me to be. Who you need to be." He pleaded and I slowly furrowed my eyebrows.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to do this with you? Huh?" I semi shouted. "In the beginning I wanted nothing more than to be the one that would be by your side, someone that you could rely one, someone that you could trust would always be there for you! And you not only broke my trust but you broke my heart."

"You act like I'm the only one at fault here. You broke my heart too, Aliya." He said and I shook my head.

"But the thing is Chris, you broke me first." I said as tears slowly streamed down my face.

"But you don't understand, I- I feel like I cant function without you. Ever since you came into my life, you've made it better and I want that. I want you." He voiced, "You make me better. That's all you. But you also make me crazy. I'm crazy about you Aliya. I would do the unthinkable for you."

"I find that very hard to believe Chris. What in your right mind makes you think that I would want to back to you? What makes you think that I would risk it all for you? Someone who has hurt me time and time again. Sure, you apologize but then you come back every time on the same bullshit. And I'm tired of it." I cried, "And you wanna know something Chris, you make me crazy too. You drive me crazy. You call it going the unthinkable, I call it happiness with benefits. What's crazier than that? I need more than satisfaction, Chris."

"Happiness with benefits? Seriously? That's what you think this is? That's what you think we have?" he questioned and I nodded my head.

"Look Chris, I want it. I want it just is much as you do. I want you by side, I know you're down to ride. But this isn't the right time. There's a lot on the line and you always wanna play with my head." I said with tears fogging my vision, "I'm running from what we 'have' now because you're no good for me. This shit constantly got me confused, and I can't deny that I want you. This, what he have now, it's some next lifetime type shit. You had someone that really cared and you went and fucked it up."

"Aliya, I get what you're trying to say. And from my understanding, you want to do this with me but you're not willing to try." He said with tears streaming down his cheeks.

This was the first time that I'd seen Chris vulnerable. He hurts me and I hurt him right back. We drive each other crazy and I'm not for it. Which still leaves me wondering why I cant let him go.

"What you in here thinking about?" August said as he walked through the door.

"Things." I bluntly replied. I turned to face him and watched as he neared me. "Have you ever thought about just disappearing and never coming back?"

"That depends. Are you coming with me?" he asked and I nudged him. He could tell that I was being serious. "Well, one thing is for certain, whatever you got going on right now certainly can't be bigger than what's to come. Running away never solves any problems."

"I know Young but sometimes it seems like it's the only option. Like, just this once, I want to aim towards equanimity. Constantly feeling like I'm going crazy is starting to starting to consume me and my conscience." I said, wanting to break down then and there.

"Whatever it is you got going on with Chris now isn't going to be like that forever. Running aint gonna fix nothing yall got going on between yall. It's a race you'll never win." He said and my eyes widened.

"I've got a question for you, Aug." I said and he looked directly at me. "Why me? I mean since you know what's going between me and your friend, why do you keep trying?"

"I've always tried with you. I like you for you, not the attention that you give me." he said and then it all clicked.

The reason why I haven't been able to let go of Chris is because he always gives me the right amount of attention at the wrong time. He loves the attention that I'm giving him while he's trying to figure out everything that's going on with him; socially, family based, and within himself. I craved for his attention and once I had it I didn't want to let it go. And thinking back, August was always there even when I didn't want him to be.

"August, I think I love you." I said, interrupting him.

"Huh?" he said, clearly caught off guard. I smiled at him before I pulled him closer towards me and placing my lips on top of his. Our intense lip lock was interrupted by Neilah who was cheering us both on.

"That's right, shower him with love! You make me so proud girl." Neilah said, wiping some fake tears. "I'ma let you two do whatever it is yall do."

She winked at the both of us before going back outside. I turned back to face August and he gave me a big smile before kissing the top of my head.

"I think I love you too." He whispered before his lips met mine again.

We walked back outside hand in hand and enjoyed the sunset in each other arms.

Here is Chapter Forty-One. For anyone that is confused, I wrote a flashback of something that happened that was either mentioned and was never went into depth about or something that already happened that I wanted you guys to know. The next chapter is going to be a juicy one so sit tight and grab your popcorn.  

Author's Note: What do you want to happen while Aliya, August, Chris, Ja'Colby, Malachi and Neilah are in Greece? Comment some suggestions down below.

Lots of LOVE 

-Zaniayah