Caffrey Flashback

Chapter 39: Fix You

A/N: Content warning for reference to someone who attempted suicide.

Burke family cabin, Catskills. Friday afternoon. March 5, 2004.

After the latest therapy session, Neal accompanied Noelle back to the cabin, where Peter and Elizabeth were putting on coats and boots. "We're finally going to build those snowmen," El said. "We have a few hours of daylight left."

"I think Henry's sledding," Peter added. "You wanna ask him to join us?"

Neal found his cousin at the hill where they'd gone sledding yesterday. But this wasn't the fun, laughter-filled version of the sport Henry had introduced him to. He was clearly going for speed, with an uncharacteristic recklessness as he raced down the hill. Somewhat to Neal's surprise, it occurred to him that he might need Peter's help to deal with whatever demons were driving Henry. But for now it would be easier to identify those demons if they were alone.

He waited at the top of the hill for Henry to return. His cousin was panting a bit when he reached the top and saw Neal. Henry positioned the sled beside him and sat down.

Neal studied Henry's face and said, "It's not helping."

Henry pulled off his cap, leaving his hair a mess. "What isn't helping?"

"Barreling down the hill. You're still stressed."

"You should have seen me before." Henry pulled off his gloves, made an attempt to smooth out his hair, and put the gloves back on again.

"Is it Win-Win?" Neal asked, aware that he'd brushed off Henry's concerns about being fired. He should have kept asking questions when Henry gave him that opening.

"I keep thinking about this Mr. Hyde, how someone inside the company could do something like that and not get caught. It makes me wonder about some stuff that happened before, like around the time my parents got divorced. If I'm right, there are some big issues in the company. Getting everything cleaned up and staying clean, that's a massive job. If I commit to it, I might never escape. It could take over my life."

"If you don't want to do it, just tell them," Neal said.

"It's not that I don't want to do it, exactly. It's just that I thought I'd have the chance to do other stuff, first. Plus I'm dreading some of the issues I'll uncover. I probably know the people involved. A lot of the company employees are Winstons or Winslows I've known all my life. It's gonna get personal. Sometimes I wonder if I'm up to the job."

"Would they really make you responsible for cleaning everything up? I thought you had a few years before the board wanted you to take over."

"Yeah, but people are starting to get wind of the fact that I'm supposed to be the next CEO. No matter who's officially in charge, those people will think of me as the future boss. They'll try to please me, try to make sure whatever changes they suggest are ones I'll support. That means I need to keep up with all the changes and make sure I'm supporting the right ones. When am I going to go after Masterson? It'll keep getting delayed. Meanwhile he's out there making money hand over fist while friends of ours see their dreams crumble. And... You met Randy Weston?"

"Yeah, I went to his music shop like you suggested. It's amazing."

"I met his daughter a couple of years ago. Not long after you first left for Europe. Incredible voice, amazing talent, and... And she... She got her hopes crushed in one of Masterson's shadier deals. Couldn't find any way out of it. She tried to kill herself. Lives are at stake, and I'm supposed to play junior CEO?"

"Then don't."

"Right. Win-Win is a family legacy. Hundreds of people depend on it for their livelihood. I'm supposed to tell them I'm too busy for them?"