Daisies

𝐸𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒

I've found that when things get too overwhelming for me to handle, I can always escape to my room.

I slip away up the stairs, clicking my door shut and twisting the lock. Mom can have her cinnamon. I burn candles that have different outdoorsy scents. Pine, lavender, mint, rose, and jasmine are in the collection, along with a few others I keep in a bin on the top shelf of my closet.

I tug open the drawer that jams at my desk and pull out my tiny camping lighter. It's green plastic with clear fluid that sloshes around inside, and I move my thumb quickly across the rotating metal gears. A flame sparks to life, and I gently lower it to the candle before me, coaxing the sputtering fire to catch on the wick. A small tendril of smoke rises, and the smell of honeysuckle gently floats into the air. I put the lighter back where it belongs and hop onto my bed. The comforter is cold now, my body heat evaporated from the sheets and mattress.

Reaching over, I pull my phone and tangle of earbuds from my nightstand-bookcase, identify a speaker on one end of the white cords, and wiggle it into my ear. Music starts playing into one of my ears, while the other picks up tinny noise coming from the other tangled earbud. I pick up a pencil and bend my fingers around it: thumb tucked under, pointer finger over, middle under, ring over, pinkie under. I twist my wrist back and forth and try to think of flowers I haven't done. There are too many.

I groan and lean back against my pillow. "Alexa." The speaker lights up on my desk. "List the types of flowers."

Alexa rattles off a list of maybe fifty types of plants and flowers, until I catch one I haven't done before. Duh: Fireweed.

I start sketching, a long stem and curled petals appearing under my pencil like magic. I go back over it with my fine-tipped black marker, erase the extra lines, shade it with colored pencils, and finish by writing 'Chamaenerion Angustifolium' under it in light pen. Chamaenerion Angustifolium. It rolls off of my tongue in a pleasing way. Fireweed is an interesting plant. Is it a weed, wildflower, herb? No one knows for sure.

I clip the fireweed paper to my clipboard and flip back, back, back to the first drawing I did. A fragile, pale green stem, proudly holding up a bright yellow, bumpy stigma surrounded by delicate, bright white petals.

Family: Asteraceae

Kingdom: Plantae

Order: Asterales

Scientific Name: Bellis Perennis.

A daisy.

My escape.