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The Greatest Mystery (Edgar/Ranpo)

The world can be cruel sometimes.
Just when you have found a small, slim glimmer of happiness and light , the world can seize it from you making you sink into a deep void. The world had taken someone right out of in between my fingers and he was gone now.
I didn't know how to feel, to be precise I didn't know what I was feeling. It was all so complicated I was feeling upset, sad, angry, overwhelmed.

I was lost without him by my side, there was no one to cup the sides of my face and tell me that it was all going to be okay. There was no one for me to cover their face with kisses, we had even hoped to one day get married. All of our hopes and dreams disappeared along with the one I loved dearly. The apartment we shared felt small and lonely without someone to lay in bed with at night. I wanted him to come home but I knew that was never going to happen.

'Still sitting here pathetic and useless.' I couldn't lift my head, I couldn't stand to see the sight. Everyone here has been so kind towards me, helping me with my loss. But even so, nothing of what they dear was good enough to save my precious Ranpo.

No one tried hard enough. Yosano didn't try. Fukuzawa didn't try. But most importantly - I didn't try. I was his lover - Edgar Allan Poe. But I couldn't save him. I felt worthless.

I gained enough strength to finally lift my head up from looking at my feet. Edogawa was lying there his face as pale as a ghost and a few of the office staff wondering around him detaching wires and what not. He had flat-lined 10 minutes ago. I first heard that he came out of a job badly wounded. He fell into a coma and died in a coma. The 5 days he had been in a coma had been utter hell for me.

As I said the world was cruel after a 5 incredibly painful days the world slipped through my fingers and held tight to my precious Edogawa and pulled him out of existence. I didn't know what to do with my life anymore.

I think I'm going crazy now it's like I'm hearing is voice in my head, talking to me beyond his death, trying to make me not feel like the worthless being I am. 

'My dear Edogawa, what do I do without you by side'

'Everything will be fine Edgar, live the life that you deserve'

'I don't deserve anything without you by my side'

'you do'

'I didn't even attempt to save you all I did was stare and watch as you were taken away from me'

'You couldn't do anything'

'I could've done something, anything to at least be able to call you mine again.'

'I heard you, when I was in that coma. I heard you.'

'you did?'

'I did and I love you too.'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Some time had been going since I heard my darling Ranpo's voice in my head. I would wake up every day to his 'good morning my love' and go to bed every night with 'good night my love'. Sometimes it felt like too much it pained me because his voice was there, but he wasn't there I had to go to sleep every night with no one laying beside me, my beds too big. I should get a single bed.
I've talked to experts, professionals under fukuzawa's care, but none of them helped they just made me feel even more worse on the inside, cuz all they could do was relentlessly remind me over and over and over again that he was gone. He wasn't here anymore, the funerals already been and I still can't get over it. Ranpo was my everything. But the would slid through my fingers and took my light my happiness away from me.
'I love you Edgar Allan Poe'
'You're my everything'
'I have to go now, find yourself another love, they'll be better than me'
'Go on my love it will all be okay, it's the worlds way of figuring it all out'
What if I think the world way of figuring it out is shitty? What if I hate with my guts so much I wanna puke. If this really is the world way of figuring it out I truly despise is the lease it could do was let you off easier and not be harmed and it die on my like that.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Several months and still it pains me Ranpos not here. Nobody had showed that would better than him. I can't go on Ranpo, not like you wished anyways. The time has come my love, I shall depart ways with this would I can't bear it anymore, I musts leave, as much as it pains me to abruptly leave those who have been taking care of me I have to reunite with you my love it's the only way.

The world has become much too unbearable without out you my dear.

I got everything ready.
And I did it. I committed suicide.

But my love wasn't there, he was in a place far too unreachable for me to see.
— — —— - - -
A/N
Enjoy your angst guys, I wasn't sure how to end it so here we are :p
Reading this makes me realise how crappy this turned out welp I'm overdue for an update so here my children.