ravaged hearts

CHAPTER THIRTY,

RAVAGED HEARTS | CHAPTER THIRTY

  SHE HADN'T SPARRED with Louis in years. For her, it was something you did with someone you knew and trusted. You trusted them not to actually hurt you, and you had to trust yourself not to hurt them yet pushing both of you to your fullest potential. More than anything it was also a training of restraint. She rarely sparred with strangers. Her friends had usually sufficed as more than acceptable training partners.

  For her, sparring had always felt... personal.

  A knock on her door. Io didn't need to ask to know who it was. Opening, she said, "Rhys. How can I help you at this late hour?"

  "How did it go?"

  "About as well as you could have expected." Io didn't bother to pretend to not know what she was referring to. That would just be insulting to both of their intelligence.

  Rhys' lips pursed. "What happened?"

  Io's eyes shut. She motioned for Rhys to walk in, and the Iron Wolf shut the door behind then. Io sat down on her bed, hands gripping the edge of the mattress, head lowered. "I'm scared, Rhys."

  "I know, Io."

  "I'm scared to let him in again."

  "Do you want to let him in again?"

  "I've loved him since I was a child."

  "Do you love him still?"

  "I'm terrified, Rhys. I don't think I can take heartbreak again."

  "I remember the days you were fearless," she mused, "those were fun. Chu sheng niu bu pa meng ku. The newborn cow does not fear the tiger. That summed you up so well back then."

  "That caused me so many mistakes."

  "But it also earned you experiences and things no one else would dare to even try to gain. I know fear, Io."

  "Funny, isn't it? All those years back then you all spent trying to get me to start being scared of things, to stop being impulsive. Well, that worked, maybe a bit too well. Now you're here telling me to start becoming courageous."

  "I'm not telling you to stop fearing things, Io," Rhys said. "I'm here to tell you to take a few risks. You cannot get things in life without making a gamble or two. I made many. They paid off, didn't they?"

  "I don't know how you're alive some days, when I look back at the shit you had to go through," Io admitted.

  Rhys said, "Same goes for me to you, honestly. We're two peas in a pod. We've survived so much. And now look at me. I have someone who loves me, someone who I love. I'm co-Captain of one of the best squadrons of operatives in the entire world. I'm bloody famous, Io. And it wasn't as if we had such different experiences. You know the difference, Io? I wasn't afraid to take a few calculated risks here and there."

  "What if I calculate it wrong?"

  "Do you trust me? Do you trust Irina? Asteria? Danna?"

  "With my life."

  "They think you should make this bet."

  "Irina's... Irina. She probably sees some kind of political advantage in this. Asteria wants me to be happy no matter what the cost. Danna... doesn't have the best taste when it comes to lovers. Or friends, really."

  "I thought you liked Volkov."

  "Just because I like the man does not mean I think he is necessarily a good choice as a partner in life. He's quite volatile, you know."