Let Me Heal You

Chapter 14 Out the Game

Toga stirred slightly and her arms instinctively clutched at whatever she was holding. Her head was pounding and she doesn't remember how she ended up someplace so warm. Suddenly, she felt a hand pet her hair so she opened her eyes and looked around.

"Good morning" Izanami whispered lightly.

Toga's eyes started to water upon hearing her soft voice. Izanami wasn't angry at her, she didn't hate her, and she didn't want her to turn herself in.

"I'm really sorry" Toga said as her lip quivered.

"Hey, sh sh shh, it's okay. I told you I was fine" Izanami said, holding her chubby face in her hands. "Let's go eat something huh? We can talk later"

"Okay" Toga sniffled as she got off Izanami. She felt a wet nose dig into her side making her squeal and Chizue yapped quietly as her tail wagged. Toga kissed the top of her head before fully getting out of bed.

Izanami followed Toga and Chizue to the kitchen until Toga froze in place.

The boys were awake, flipping through the channels. Twice snapped his head towards Toga and stared at her. Toga looked down at the ground in shame, unable to make any eye contact.

"Everyone's really glad you're back" Izanami said, throwing the boys an almost threatening look.

"I didn't wanna say anything last night but... do you know how long I looked for you?"  Twice said getting out of bed. "You can't do that to me, Toga" he sighed while giving her a hug. She tried to blink away the tears as she wrapped her hands around him loosely before he let go and went back to sit on the bed.

Toga couldn't look at the other two. She knew they were mad at her so she swiftly turned to make her way to the kitchen, sitting at the table with her back towards everyone.

Izanami frowned slightly and gave the boys a glance before she went into the kitchen to start making breakfast. After getting the rice cooker started she served Toga some orange juice and water, hoping she'd finish both before the food was ready. Toga stared at the water and orange juice then back at her. She gave an encouraging smile with a light nod before she started to make the boys some coffee. They all got up and silently took their glasses from the counter then sat at the table.

Dabi sat next to Toga, making her stiffen. He probably hated her the most since she knew he definitely had a thing for Izanami. It wouldn't matter how many times Toga apologized, Dabi would never forgive her and she didn't wanna forgive herself either.

"I'm sorry I kicked you" Dabi muttered before sipping his coffee to keep from having to speak further.

Toga's head whipped to the side. Her mouth hung open in shock and he rolled his eyes as he shoved her orange juice to her chest. She quickly grabbed it before he let go and hesitantly took a sip.

The early afternoon was quiet. Chizue's impatient bark snapped everyone's attention towards her. It made Twice get up to feed her, patting her on the head with a heavy hand. When the food was done, Izanami served everyone two fried eggs with a hefty scoop of rice. Besides the small mutters of thank yous, they ate silently. Toga only picked and forked at her food, not really taking any bites.

"Please try to eat Himi-Chan" Izanami urged. Her heart broke watching Toga's sad little droopy face.

Toga didn't want to displease Izanami anymore so she bagan eating and taking sips of her water.

"Toga," Shigaraki called, causing her to look up and meet his gaze, "did you mean it? Do you really wanna be good?"

Panic flooded Toga's chest. She did wanna be good but she didn't know if she could pull it off. What if she tried and failed? What if Shigaraki wouldn't let her back in The League if she couldn't hack out in the real world, then she'd really have nowhere else to go. She didn't know what to do and it scared her.

"Because if you did, I-I'd let you" Shigaraki finished.

"But- what if I can't do it" Toga's eyes watered.

"Ehh, you could probably do it" he shrugged, "Izanami said she wanted to help you, why not try it out" Toga was the youngest, maybe she could make it out the game unscathed. Shigaraki knew it was probably too late for everyone else but maybe Toga had a chance. Izanami was giving Toga a chance.

"You could all-"

"Slow down, don't bite off more than you can chew" Dabi cut Izanami off before she could finish her thought.

Toga didn't understand why Izanami was willing to go this far for her. Why did she believed in the good Toga knew she didn't have? If she were really trying to be a good person it wouldn't have taken her so long to find the courage to turn herself in. The whole reason she was at the farther station was because she thought she could make up her mind before she got there. Fear and doubt wormed it's way into her head and heart, "you guys should've just let me turn myself in"

"Shut up! Don't say that" Twice protested, slamming his hand down on the table.

"That was out of the fucken question" Dabi shook his head, "what good would that have done?"

"Rehabilitate me?" Toga questioned.

"Himibaby you just need someone to love and support you, it's not your fault you never had that before" Izanami said looking in her eyes. She glanced at the rest of the table to make sure they got the same message. Twice and Toga shared the same wide eyed look while Shigaraki and Dabi glared and turned away from everyone.

"Why do you wanna help me so bad..." Toga muttered lowly. She wasn't brave enough to ask her out right, afraid of the answer, afraid Izanami would realize she wasn't worth it.

"Because I got help. I could've spent my whole life punishing myself for something that wasn't my fault or punishing people for something they didn't do to me" Izanami forced a small smile.

Dabi's stomach turned, he couldn't decide who was stronger, her for changing for the better or him for finally taking his power. He wanted to know, he wanted to ask her what made her decide to go that route instead of what everyone else in the room chose. Maybe it had to do with resources and support?Maybe if they just took her help they could be more like her... but was that something he really wanted? He wasn't sure yet. He still wanted Endeavor dead. He wanted to make his big reveal and shock everyone, let everyone know that their hero was his monster and the cause of all his suffering. Dabi decided right then and there that there was no room for love in his heart. He lived off of hate for too long. He glanced at the girls and hoped they could make it work. If he couldn't offer Izanami the love she craved he knew Toga would.

Everyone finished eating with a lot on their minds. Twice came to terms that he'd have to let his lil sis go. He figured he'd only hold her back if she tried to go straight. Shigaraki understood that Izanami was gunna be busy taking care of Toga to wanna deal with their shenanigans so they were probably down one member and one healer.

Izanami cleared the table and sat back down with a soft smile on her face. "So," she started, catching everyone's attention, "I owe you guys a dinner, keep Saturday open"

Toga's eyes fill with tears for the millionth time this morning, "you're too nice Iza-Chan"

"Too nice for us" Shigaraki whispered to himself lowly, finally accepting it as a fact.

"Dabi you pick dinner this time" Izanami said.

And as much as he knew he shouldn't ever get to be around her again, he couldn't help but crack a smirk, "soba"

"Soba it is!" She cheered.