Mending Broken Hearts

8. Whispered Words

September 2019

Omar

1:00 PM

I had meant what I said to Madi. When I had entered Noor's room, I did not know Salman was going to be there. But my initial relief at seeing him, and concern for what he must be going through, had quickly changed to resentment when he spoke rudely to Madi. All she had done the entire day was run around trying to take care of Noor, while also somehow managing more than a dozen other patients.

She was exhausted, even if she hid behind her cool, calm exterior. You could tell by the way her brows furrowed when she spoke and the way she heaved a sigh when she thought no one was looking, or tugged on her curls absentmindedly. There was no way I was going to stand by and let someone talk to her like Salman had.

Though I also could have told the man to watch his tone, and just stopped there. I didn't have to bring Noor into it. Regret had filled me the moment I stepped out of the room, but words once said can seldom be taken back.

I knew what I had to do; apologize to a man I had spent the better half of last year blaming for my woes.

If not for myself, for Madi. And Noor.

His face was buried in his hands when I walked into his room, and he didn't look up till I called out his name, "Salman"

Bloodshot eyes met mine, but instead of anger I saw remorse and fear on his face. I know men don't often sympathize with other men, or have sentimental conversations. We are supposed to be factual and non-emotional. To be honest even I have found it a lot easier to pat my male friends on a back and say 'everything will be ok', without delving into any further details.

But I had just spent the last several hours feeling as if a part of me was about to disappear, and Noor wasn't even bound to me by love, or marriage or a new life that hadn't yet entered this world. Looking at him I realized that everything I felt must be a hundred times worse for him. And he was all alone, next to his wife and their baby.

"What do you want?", he asked in an expressionless tone.

"I just came to check on Noor, and...uh...see how you were doing?"

He stared at me for a few seconds, clearly surprised. But then just looked down and stayed quiet. So I went over Noor's blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen levels that the nurse had charted over the last few hours. Her heart rate had gone up slightly, but the rest of the numbers were stable. The obstetricians had placed a monitor on Noor's abdomen which was constantly monitoring her baby's heart rate. The monitor was quiet, a reassuring sign in an ICU.

Salman still hadn't said anything, didn't even look at me, by the time I was done examining his wife so I blurted out, "I am sorry for the way I spoke earlier", and was ready to bolt out of there when I heard him reply in a voice so thick with emotions and regret I wasn't sure if he wasn't talking to me or to himself.

"You were right though, I should not have left her alone. Not when I knew that she had been exposed to the flu virus because we had to emergently intubate our flu positive patient, and she had rushed into his room without wearing the proper protective gear. She was doing her job, but I should have done mine as her husband"

Never in a million years did I think I would have to comfort Noor's husband one day, but in that moment I found myself responding to him without hesitation.

"There is no way you can know for sure that she caught the virus from her patient. Flu is everywhere these days, she could have caught it while doing grocery shopping"