Roman's Angel

Chapter 20

A week had passed by since that night that Dean had spent with Sami. Well, half of it at least. He would lay in his bed, remembering how the young teen's mouth felt on him, how good he was at bringing him to that moment of ecstasy. Dean had came to visit him some days after the incident, not once mentioning a word of what happened between them both. He didn't remember what happened, and for this, Sami was relieved. Their friendship would be strained if Dean had known what he had forced him to do that night.

A part of him was torn with how he felt about what happened. It gave him pleasure to remember his friend like that, on his knees and so vulnerable to him, willing to just take whatever Sami did or gave to him. He also felt ashamed, because he knew that he had taken advantage of Dean, basically turned out to become one of the types of people he despised the most. But was it really so wrong? And what if Dean enjoyed it too? He wanted to get it out there in the open and talk about it with him. There was just one problem, one person that stood in his way. He would just have to deal and hold this memory close to him, that way so it wouldn't hurt so much to watch Dean be in love with someone else.

***

"He's turned out to be a pretty great guy." Seth said, talking about Kenny Omega, who has been at their school for about a month now. "You and Dean should spend some time with him. I think you guys would really get along."

"I have talked to Dean about it, hanging out with him. But he's not sure whether he wants to or not." Roman shrugged.

"It would help if he gets to know him more. Like, actually talk to him. Kenny's not like Baron and his friends. He's a nice guy and I have warned him about what sorts of things Baron says and does."

"He hasn't interacted with him at all?"

"He's said a few things to him at school but never took up any of his offers to hang out or be friends with him."

Roman gets up from the table, taking his plate over to the sink. "Well, I'll talk to Dean more about hanging out with him. I can't promise that I'll convince to him to."

"Just let me know what he says. How has he been doing anyway? Is he getting better?"

"He's making some progress. But there are still some things I am worried about." Roman didn't really want to go into more detail about it. Dean still talked about how he never belonged, how he didn't have much going for him, and that the only way to set things right, was to cleanse this world of its sin. What he meant by that, Roman still had no idea what it was. Was it suicide or something much more scarier? He also still had not told Seth about the gun that Dean was given. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell him or not, because it might be too much for the young teen to take in. He has had a glimpse but just like all the others, he would see how truly messed up Dean is, would see him as nothing than some crazed psycho.

"Has he still been hanging out with Sami?"

"Yeah, he has."

"Oh, great. He's the last person that Dean needs in his life."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that night that Dean came home drunk? When he was supposed to be staying at Sami's house but came back here."

"Yeah, I remember it." He remembered that night very well, especially what Dean had told him to do. When he cut the skin on Dean's thigh, seeing the blood dripping down it, he felt mixed feelings about it. It made him sad, scared, to see that he was the one who had did that to his Angel. To cut him up and destroy him more. But he also felt aroused by it, to know that he had in some way leveled Dean, brought him comfort. It was weird to him, to even think that he got off from the thought of that, being someone that Dean trusted so much to bring him love and pain.