☞︎ℍ𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝔾𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 ~ 𝔸𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕪𝕤𝕥'𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 ☜︎

~Autumn~

(top pic is a picrew of Amethyst and Autumn bcuz yes)

"Amethyst! Wake up!" Myles shakes my shoulders, and I jolt awake. 

"Wha- what happened?" I ask, still panting. I know I fell asleep, and I know I had a dream. A nightmare, actually. 

I realize Myles is still holding my shoulders and try to scoot backwards, but there's a wall behind me. He lets go, and I lean against the wall, gripping my shoulder. It's started to throb again. 

"You were having a nightmare," he remarks, sitting down next to me. "What happened to your shoulder?" I frown.

"It got stabbed twice. Once in the games and once in District Ten." I wipe my eyes, which are suddenly watery. 

Myles doesn't ask about how it got stabbed, which I appreciate. Maybe he understands, even slightly, what I'm going through.

I rest my hand on the cold floor, leaning on it. It seems like this small thing is supporting me, holding me up when I can't do that myself. 

We're both quiet for a while. The silence is punctuated only by Autumn's small snores. 

But I can tell we're both thinking how the real world is no worse than the games. 

"What if they do it again?" he asks, turning his head to look at me. I meet his eyes, confused. Hurt me again? There's no chance they won't.

"What do you mean?" I question. "Do what again?"

He thinks for a moment. 

"Hurt you. Or your family. You said they might manage to hurt your mother before, right?" I nod. I did say that. But I'm not telling him my mother's dead, not yet. Even if I got the news in a dream- it's my only reliable source of news, even if it's not very reliable. Alright, not at all. But I still have hope for my mother being alive, and- why am I hoping this? I shouldn't be hoping this. 

"They can't do anything to me. I don't have anything left. My family's all dead, probably." I shake my head, ignoring the sympathetic expression fighting its way onto Myles's face. 

"You know... my grandfather once told me that 'Family isn't who you're born with, it's who you'd die for'." He places his hand on mine, gently.

"Then I really don't have anyone, because all the people I'd die for died for me." I pull my hand away and turn away from him, trying to stop the tears that are begging to fall. 

We're both silent again. I don't think either of us have anything left to say. 

There's a rustling and a yawn in the corner, and Autumn rises, stretching. 

She looks from me to Myles. 

"Oh, you're new," she observes. I wipe my eyes and nod. She seems young, maybe eleven or twelve. I need to stay brave, for her. 

My mind flashes back to when I killed Rylie. That poor little girl, who was only a year or two older than Autumn is now...

I wrap my arms around my knees and bury my face in my legs. The rough fabric of my clothes isn't very comfortable, and I'd rather have the sort of soft blanket that feels like you're hugging a bear cub. 

We have those at home. Well- had. We had those at home. I don't even have a home anymore. 

"Sorry," I mutter, trying to force myself to stop crying. It wasn't my fault. None of it was my fault. 

It feels like Autumn is looking at me weird, though I can't see her. 

"Autumn, this is Amethyst," Myles introduces me. That's nice of him. I don't have the strength to do it myself. "She's just going through a lot right now." 

Isn't that a true statement. 

"Oh. I'm sorry, Amethyst," Autumn says, wrapping me up in a hug. I tense. I'm still not used to hugs. The last one I got was... from Aegis. Only minutes before he died. Before I killed him. 

It takes me a few seconds, but I hug the small girl back. 

"Thanks," I whisper, but she interrupts me before I can say anything more. 

"Amethyst-" her voice sounds urgent, like this is a very important message that just can't wait. 

"They can hear us. Don't say anything important." I freeze. Who can hear us? The capitol? Are they listening through the bars right now?

"It might be a little too late for that," I whisper back. She nods, just slightly, then releases me. 

I go back to my corner. Autumn seems like the kind of person who's smarter than you'd see at a first glance. Her gray eyes glint in a way that suggests she's not just a little girl who can't tell when someone is devastated.

I rest my back against the corner, sitting with my legs crossed. 

"They give us food here, right?" I ask. Surely they do. If they didn't then Myles wouldn't be able to survive here for long enough to not see my games, right?

"Of course," Autumn answers. "The next meal might be soon, I think. But they slide it through that door there." She points to a small door in the bigger door. It seems too small for anyone to fit through, and now I'm wondering if anyone has ever tried. Probably. 

She leans in closer to me, whispering. "So don't get any ideas about escaping when they open the door. There's only two keys and apparently President Snow has one and the guard has the other. Escape is impossible, trust me." I nod. She sounds as if she's been here longer than she actually has. Or maybe Myles was wrong about her only being here for a few weeks. Maybe she was transferred from another cell.

She scoots away from me, going back to her corner. 

There's a knock on the outside of the door, and a gruff voice echoes outside. 

"I'm coming in!" The door opens with a creak, and I press my back against the wall. It must be the guard. But Autumn said they don't open the door to deliver dinner. 

The guard enters, and I find he's an older man who looks like he's been through a war about five minutes ago. He walks with a limp, and his face looks scarred from many wounds. 

He scowls as he limps towards me, and then grabs my arm with an iron grip. He pulls me to my feet. 

"You're Amethyst, right? Amethyst Greenwood?" he interrogates, looking me up and down. I try to fix my face, try not to look terrified. It doesn't work. 

"Y-yes," I stutter, and he nods, then pulls me towards the door. He opens it and drags me through, as I send one last desperate glance into the cell behind me.