2min Oneshots

6

Do you remember?

Do you remember when I confessed to you and you said you'll think about it? And after a few weeks, just as I was loosing hope, you came up to me and asked me to be yours? Do you remember that hyung? Do you remember all the times we spent talking late at night? Remember how you'd tell me you love me every chance you get? How we always sneaked around our parents and meet just to hug each other?

Did you mean it?

Did you mean it when you asked me to stay with you and said I'd never get hurt? Did you mean it when you said I mean everything to you and that you'd protect and take care of me? Did you mean it when you said you love me...?

Did you forget?

Did you forget all the promises? That you'd never hurt me? That I'll be yours forever? That you'd never let me go? Did you forget all the plans we made? To travel the world, to live together, to adopt cats, to go on dates... Did you forget all that?

Was it all just a lie?

Was it a lie when you told me you love me...?

I don't get it. I don't understand how easy it was for you to let me go and move on in life and even pretend like I never existed.

I don't get how easy it is for you to not even spare a glance at me or bother to even send a small smile at me atleast.

I don't get how you're so happy... You look so happy... As if being with me was a burden...

Was it not enough?

Was it not enough how much I tried? Was my love for you not enough? I was ready to leave everything behind for you, to be happy with you...

I really tried you know? I tried every single day, every moment to be someone you can rely on and love, to be someone you were comfortable with. I thought I was making progress only to learn multiple times that you were still hiding yourself from me. But I never tried to push you into being transparent with me, all I wanted was for you to trust me so no matter how bad it hurt me, I still kept trying for you hyung.

I thought you were happy...

I thought you were happy when you said I mean the world to you. I thought you were happy when you hugged me for so long and fell asleep in each others arms. I thought you were happy when you always laughed at my jokes. I thought you were happy when we went on those dates and trips together

But turns out you were never really happy. You never were with me...

Where did I go wrong?

What did I do? What did I do to not be enough for you? Did I not try enough? Was I not good enough? Is it my personality? Is it my looks? Is it me?

How could you...

How could you act like nothing ever happen between us? How could you ignore me like this? How could you just break up with me over text and never talk to me ever again? How could you say you only see me as a friend and that's it? How could you say that after all the late night calls and the I love you's?

I feel used. I feel used whenever I think about how I always gave my attention to you every single second and I always prioritized you and was there for you everytime you wanted someone. I was always there for you but you were never there for me...

And when I needed you the most, you left me. You treat me like a complete stranger and now I'm at the most lowest I've ever been.

I need you hyung. I need you to hold me, to tell me everything is gonna be okay.

I still have hope you know? I still have a bit of hope that you'd come back to me and you'd keep your promises to me because you said you never break your promises. I'm still waiting. I've been waiting this whole time for you to come and hug me and tell me that you won't leave ever again.

But I saw you properly today after a month. You looked happier, you really do.

Maybe it was me after all. Maybe I suffocated you and overwhelmed you with how much attached I am to you.

I realize how I can never make you happy... I'm sorry hyung, I'm sorry I failed to make you happy just like I told you I would. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you...

You always asked if you deserved me, that I deserve better. And I always answered that I'm the one who decides what I deserve and I decided on you. Maybe that was a mistake, I never answered whether you deserve me. Maybe you realized you could do so much better, that you deserve better.

You can hyung, you can do so much better than me which is why I was always so surprised when you confessed to me cause I always wondered what about me was significant enough to catch your attention?

Did you regret it?

You could've had anyone you wanted but you still chose me. Did you regret choosing me? Did you realize how I'm not special in any way and want someone better? Did you regret me? I wouldn't blame you. I regret me too. I regret letting myself fall so deep and get so attached to you like this.

I'm so annoying aren't I? Always chasing after you and not letting you live your life in peace... Always nagging you asking about irrelevant things and ranting about useless things to you...

It's been a while since we broke up, and I've stopped crying... No, I can't cry anymore... Maybe I ran out of tears. I just spend all the time with an aching pain in my chest and feeling empty as if I lost a part of me.

I tried getting over you, I tried to try with another guy so that I could forget and move on from you. But it didn't work, it wasn't the same feeling as it was with you when we met. I wasn't comfortable with anyone as much as I was with you. No one felt like home like it did with you. I clicked with anyone like I did with you. I never cared for anyone like I cared about you either.

I see you looking happy and I feel so upset hyung. I see how you're laughing with your friends and only think about how I should be there next to you holding your hand and making you laugh. I see you smiling at others and all I can thing is about how you used to smile like that to me, your smile's were all directed to me but now I don't even get a glance. I'm jealous hyung. I feel so jealous, of your friends for being able to be close to you and of you, for how easy it was for you to move on.

Maybe there wasn't anything to move on from in the first place...?

It hurts. It hurts so much I feel like I'm drowning. And worse part is how I can't even tell you any of this. Because I don't want to ruin your mood, you're looking happy and I can't bring myself to tell you all this and ruin that happiness and guilt trip you...

I don't know what to do anymore... I'm so angry at you then I'm sad about you, I'm happy for you then I'm jealous. I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore

I hate this. I hate not being able to smile properly anymore. I hate this pain I feel. I hate seeing you happy without me. I hate how I'm hating on your happiness.

I hate how much I love you.

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Hiii so I finally updated heh....
* Scratches neck *

Imsosorry dkfjjdhd I rarely ever update this omg😭 I've been going through a slump for a while now... Does anyone know how to like get over it or something???

I wrote a sad chapter again-
Why go to therapy when I can just project my feelings onto my ult ships lol😋

To whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you had a great day/ night<3