poems and drabbles (and vents/stuff)

sometimes

tw/cw: possible triggers for implied manipulation and abuse

his honey sweet words slipped through her ears, flowing to her brain and twisting around, as if to suffocate all thoughts outside of the words that were currently reverberating inside her skull. the poetry that spilled from his mouth like a waterfall of blood drew her in, speaking of second chances and apologies and reeking of lies and chances that should have already come to pass, but she seemed to have rose colored glasses on that blinded her for the moment.

(she heard a familiar voice in her head saying, 'rose colored glasses make even red flags seem white,' occasionally, but she couldn't remember where she heard it. where had she heard it? why couldn't she remember? who was speaking? why can't she remember who she was before she was with him? if she hates the voice so much, as he says she does, why does the voice bring her comfort?)

her rational mind screamed in protest every time he spoke over the voice, but it was locked in a soundproof room in her head with her subconscious thoughts of his abuse, where she wouldn't hear the truth of his tainted words and actions that rotted her brain like cavities to a tooth.

...

sometimes, though, sometimes words slipped out.

sometimes, she wanted to get away, leave his sugary sweet trap that had drawn her in, like a fly to honey and turned to vinegar that drowned her as she sat in it, waiting for the honey that was promised.

sometimes, she wanted to leave and find a home with someone who would see how far she would go for them, and then would give her the world for her troubles of wooing them.

sometimes, she dreamed of the voice comforting her, making sure to chase all the bad things away and protecting her, the way she had imagined a partner doing so for so long...

for now, though, she would settle for letting him watch how far she could spread herself thin for him, and how much she could take until she broke, before he put her back together with the grace of a second grade arts and crafts project.

sometimes, she likes to imagine things will change...but they won't.