One shots and Short stories

Tragic Past 2

Tessa Young

I tried to muffle up some words out of my mouth and express what I want to tell him however I failed terribly.

I can't speak about it. Thinking about it hurts me way too much to speak about it. But I have to tell him. I can't keep him in dark anymore. I know I love him and he loves me too.

I just hope he won't leave me but the choice is his.

I gulp as I glance at his curious eyes. Waiting for me to speak up.
"Tess. You can tell me. You trust me, don't you?" He softly spoke. My palm are sweating and beads of sweat dripping from my forehead. My breathing ragged. It's like I've just worked out.

"I—I can't spe-speak about it." I mumble almost incoherent.
"I'm afraid you'll leave me."
He take my hand in his and kissed it. Softly, gently. An action that calms me down every time but not now.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll always stick by you."
"You can't talk about it? So write it on a paper and give it to me? I'll wait here? Yea?"

I contemplate about it. It's rather I write it than talk about it. I won't be able to muffle up even a single word. I reluctantly nod my head and detached my hand with his.

I stood up and went out. I huff and shuffle through the drawer to find a book. I pick the pen and started writing.

—-

I slowly pad back in the room. Hardin is sitting on the bed. His legs spread out on the bed. His back against the headboard. I stood there and admire his beauty for a while because most probably, I won't see him again after this. He won't even marry me tomorrow after this. Marry is far he'll hate me.

He look up at me and flash me a small smile.
"You okay?" His eyes hold concern for me. Which I'm afraid will turn into disgust. I nod and head him the paper.

He furrow his brow and took the paper. His eyes travel back at my face. I didn't dare to make eye contact.
"You really want me to read it?" I nod my head. He gulp and slowly open the letter.

Hardin Scott

My palm started sweating as she handed me the letter.

When she asked me to come over. I must admit... I was little scare. I thought she wouldn't want to marry me? Probably..i don't know why she called me yet.

I reluctantly open the letter. I grace my finger on her beautiful handwriting. My eyes roaming on the words scribbled on the piece of paper.

I took a deep breath. Preparing myself for whatever is waiting for me.

Dear Hardin,

I don't know...h-how to say it..but... it's just...I know i should've said it earlier..and probably after reading this, you won't wanna marry me.... it's just..that...i don't even know how to explain it without sounding horrible...My brother...you always ask why..i stay distant with him... that's because...he-he sexually abused me when I was kid....it keep going on for years....the first time he did it...I-i was 6 or 7...at first I didn't even understood anything... slowly as i grew up...i started hating it...i tried to stop him but he would touch me..inappropriately when I would be sleeping .....staying in the same room as his petrified me...i would stay as far away from as possible...i remember that moment vividly...when our whole family went to theatre... unfortunately I-i had to sit beside him....i tried to exchange seat but no one agreed...so eventually I had to sit beside him...he touched me inappropriately even there....i don't know why I didn't said anything about him to my parents...i guess I was way too afraid to ruin my family? So I just stayed away from as much as possible....i wouldn't even stay in same room as his....he would look at me when I would change my clothes from the space beneath the door between the door and floor....i used to place a cloth over there so he won't be able to see anything...once I was alone, everyone went out and he was out for classes and he came early....I was in kitchen..when he touched my ass ...i turn and slapped him across his face...he pretended that he didn't do anything and said "what?!" I scream back and told him to stay away from me... eventually things got under control yet i would stay away from him...not only this...my neighbour..he also abused me...my life with boys aren't the best... that's why, I was afraid of you at first, when you would follow me.... that's why I still haven't given away myself to you .... because it ...it reminds me of the day...when ..when he...he..was about to take my virginity....i didn't let him tho...it hurted way too much....i didn't even know what sex meant at that time....they both had ruin my life....i don't expect you to stick beside me, Hardin... Don't hesitate to leave, if you want to...i would still love you....always have and always will....just... it's just, it would hurt but..but i know.. you'll find someone better...who isn't as fucked up as I'm and will give you everything you deserve....i do have a nice relationship with him now... however I'm still afraid to be with him.....i don't know if he regret doing that to me or not...if he said anything about it... to his girlfriend....if he did...then it's good and if not then it's his choice....I wanted you to know this....I hope you'll keep this to yourself .....even if you'll leave me....I love you...yours Tessa.
PS :- Just listen to your heart..if it tells you to leave me then do it... don't stay with me because you have to..stay with me because you want to...

A/N
Finally my finals are over however I'm freaking out'bout my exam.
Hope you enjoyed the part.
All the love
Isha.