His Dark Eyes (Complete)

Chapter 3

In the last two months I have learned that you will only achieve the heights you allow yourself to reach for. We are our biggest competition and also our toughest critic. It has been two months since my makeover with Wendy and I am starting to make some serious progress. I am experiencing so many things that I have never even wondered about. I got my first wax, OMG that was excruciating, needless to say I screamed like a little girl. I had my brows shaped and may nails manicured. I hanged my hairstyle a little and started playing around with some make-up. I don't like the feel of it too much so for me less is better. Gran actually helped me to buy a few clothing items, things I haven't worn since I was a child. I got two dresses, a nice skirt with some pretty tops, undies and some shoes. I also feel happier. It is amazing how little things can have big effects on people. I still have a long way to go, but I think I am moving in the right direction.

Our circle of friends have grown. Beatrice, a real nutcase, is a little ray of sunshine. I like her, she makes me laugh, I even snorted the other day. Also another highlight for me this term was that I learned the name of my big crush, Jake Braton. The low point for was that he dated Melissa Preston, a mean girl who is egotistical and judgemental. She was pretty though with long blond hair, tiny blue eyes and a petite little frame. Still I couldn't picture him with her, I didn't want to believe that she is his type but I suppose the popular wants to be with the popular. My grades have improved. Wendy and James are now dating. It wasn't too long after she asked him to the ball that he asked her on a date and then another and another. They introduced me to one if his friends, Shawn Malone, who is very cute, but I can't say that he stirs anything in me. We went to the movies once or twice, with the happy couple, but I just can't get excited about him.

My Gran and I painted my room and she made me a new quilt. I loved purple so everything was lilac and white. Even she appeared to be a bit happier these days. We spoke more and even enjoyed our morning coffee together. Things were going well. I was a bit nervous, you know waiting for the next bad thing to happen, but I was still happy. Wendy convinced me to go to the ball, even if it was with Shawn. At least I would be able to say that I attended my farewell dance. It was five months untill we graduate and three. Mo ths untill the dance. Wendy and James will be matching in red attire, Beatrice and Mark will be shimmering in gold and Shawn and I decided on emerald green. I get nervous just thinking about it.

I've started seeing our school counselor who is helping me work through some fears and anxiety. She is a very patient and kind person. Miss Lennon has a soft voice and almost looks like a porcelain doll. She has fair skin, ver long auburn hair, that she wears in a side braid (mostly) and sometimes I think her soul is much older and wiser than she is.
Wendy was already waiting outside the door when I opened it. "How did it go today?" I smiled and crossed my fingers "Let's hope she can fix me." she look at me with a serious face "you know there is nothing wrong with you right?" We started walking "it is just a way of speaking Wendy. I'm sure everything will be good." the rest of day went fast and before I could blink I was home.

"Gran, I'm home!" I ran up the stairs, dropped my bag in my room and kicked of my shoes. My stomach growled and who am I to deprive it of food. I went down to the kitchen to get whatever smelled so good. It was just after three and I didn't have much homework to do, so I made coffee, cut myself a piece of carrot cake and fell on the couch. I channel hopped for a few minutes and stopped on a Bruce Willis movie. When I started with homework, about two hours later, I struggled to focus. My thoughts kept wandering. I am turning eighteen in just a few weeks but I wasn't planning on doing anything, obviously, but Wendy was not going to miss the opportunity to work on my social development. She wanted us to go out and just let our hair down and I said I'd think it over. I don't do well in crowds, it jusy heightens my anxiety. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. "You are in crowds everyday Lucy, in school, on the bus and in the supermarket. You must get. Out if your head and take control of your situations." Miss Lennon's words played over and over in my mind. She was right, I just gues that those crowds become familiar after a while and easier to deal with. Maybe I should give in and agree to go out with Wendy. After I finished my work I took a long hot bath. Gran and I had some soup with bread and she asked me about my day. A conversation we now have every night at the dinner table. I was exhausted, so I went to bed and fell asleep in minutes.

I felt his breath on my neck, his hand running down my arm and the other one playing with my hair. I felt his lips move slowly over my skin, his soft words spoken in between and I could feel my heart beating a million times per second. I started feeling tingles all over my body. "Jake.."
I sat up breathing heavy. What the hell Lucy. This is not the first time I dreamt about him and it is frustrating. I cant seem to get him out if my mind, awake or asleep. I went to bathroom, washed my face and took a few deep breaths. I got back into bed and rolled around for hours before finally falling asleep again.