Chapter 11

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Opening my eyes, I quickly shut them as the morning sunlight shoots daggers into them. I've never felt this bad before in my twenty-five years of life. The world feels like it's spinning, I'm shivering even though it has to be close to ninety degrees, my head still pounds horribly, and I'm nauseous as all get out. Despite all that, I pry my eyes back open to look over at the tree where Shane strung Candy up last night. My sight blurs awfully yet I can still make out his form and I see him shift. A sigh of relief escapes me but as the air only releases from my nose, I'm reminded yet again of the gag tied tightly around my face. Shane tied it tight, too. So tight that after a few hours I began to taste blood coming from the corners of my mouth. My cheeks are probably going to be bruised after this, that is if I survive.

I shift myself upwards and slowly slide to a sitting position against the rock. I have to stop halfway for fear of the world spinning out of control and dry heaving into Shane's neckcloth. As soon as the nausea and dizziness fade somewhat, I finish sitting up. The only thing I want right now is Candy by my side, Pa to come rescue us, and something to make me feel better. It doesn't seem like much but it seems impossible right now.

A blurry figure strides towards me and stops at my feet. Blinking a few times to try and clear my sight, I realize it's Carlito. He squats in front of me and he moves to take off my gag to give me a drink from the canteen he sat down when suddenly over the rushing in my ears, I hear Shane growl, "Carlito?"

"Si, amigo?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Giving the senorita a drink of water."

"Don't."

"Por que?"

"Because I said don't."

" She hasn't had any in a long time," Carlito almost sounds concerned, "and she doesn't look too good."

"I don't care what she looks like, I said no water for the gal."

"Si, amigo, I will give her none." He stands back up and walks away.

I'm past the point of caring or trying to control my tears, so I just let myself cry. But after a few minutes though, I realize it was a mistake. My nose always gets plugged up like I have a cold when I cry and with the gag in my mouth makes it hard to breathe. Not being able to breathe makes me panic slightly because it feels like I'm suffocating but I close my eyes and think about something that has nothing to do with anything around me to try and calm myself down.

I picture Mama's face with its cheerful smile and the tinkling laugh that it's always accompanied by. As my mind drifts to my older sister, I can hear her stern but kind schoolmarm voice that she always used when either Jewels or I would get out of line. Long blonde hair and Mama's eyes are all Jewels, who is destined to have her nose buried in either a dime store novel or her beloved Romeo and Juliet. I was terrified things would never be the same after we had that horrible fight but thankfully after Pa talked to both of us, we were able to let bygones be bygones.

I never thought I'd ever have a pa like Ben, he's so sure and sound, always there with a comforting hand and a piece of steady advice. With Ben, of course, came his three sons and their wives. Each of the boys are so different from one another but they all have big, kind loving hearts, a trait Henry only had a minimum amount of. Hannah, Misty, and Leo have all become like long lost sisters to me, we've spent many an hour talking and laughing together.

Another face shines brightly in my mind, a face sporting sparkling blue eyes, a firm, smiling mouth, and a head full of dark wavy hair, but just as I begin to focus on it, it vanishes. What replaces it is pure madness! I see faces, faces from the past and present accompanied by voices chanting songs I haven't heard in ages and retelling past conversations. Mama's voice singing a long forgotten lullaby intertwines with Candy telling me he loves me while I see Henry and Amy's faces, which are quickly replaced by a giggling Lilia Marie. The faces and voices continue to swirl around and around in my head at a lunatic rate when I suddenly remember my eyes are closed and all I have to do to escape this madness is open them.

Quickly prying them open, I'm met by a blinding light. I force them to stay open since I no longer see the faces, though the voices still hound me. As I try to focus on something in the blurriness around me, the voices fade away surprisingly. But I'm not to be blessed with silence because as soon as they leave, a loud rushing sound takes their place. It sounds like I've stuck my head in Lake Tahoe during a storm but somehow do the impossible and avoid getting wet.

It seems that the blinding light, strange rushing sound, and struggle to breathe through my nose isn't plague enough because the world abruptly decides to spin at an insane speed. I feel myself swaying but I don't dare close my eyes for fear the faces will come back. A relief seems to be on the horizon though as the brightness around me begins to fade to black like two curtains being pulled closed. Right before all goes completely dark, I hear a soft thud over the rushing and all thankfully disappears. 

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