You lye in the cold wind, about several foot steps from the edge of the balcony. You stared into the delicate sky as you pondered in your thoughts.
so many years drift by, so many tears can fill your eyes, so many tears to lock behind the door.
So... You drift away. And yet another day takes you by, as empty as before.
You'll be here come the morning light, waiting there, waiting for him.
You wish he stayed this time. You wish you'd got it right.
So many days drift by, you realise there's too many days to slowly die.
Just how many shadows fade across the wall?
You only need someone. That specific someone. Your waiting for your love to come back. You wait there on your own.
You try and think of better days, and raise your eyes to the stary sky, and dream the past away.
You begin to realise. Life is cruel.
It treats you bad.
It tears your wings away.
Everything good is just a trick of light.
You think away, run away from your thoughts. Trying to find a better day.
No more lies. No more distractions.
This could be it. This is it.
He could be dead right now. And your lying there wounded, a bottle of vodka gripped in your hand.
You try and drink the pain away. What about all the things that you longed to believe about love? But the truth is, he is all that you need.
Your bleeding, but you can't see the blood. It's nothing but a feeling.
You've always been a fighter, but without him, you give up.
The pictures he left behind on the tables, all just memories from a different life. Some made you laugh and some made you cry.
When he held you close, held you near. You want him to say the words that you need to hear.
The world cracks, and the sky tears when you hear your phone bing. You grip the sheets as you try and hold on. You had been waiting for Janet to message you with news of Michael for a while.
You can't pretend that nothings changed, you can feel something wrong. A tear frees itself from your eye as realisation sets in.
Everyone has a cross to bear these days.
You should have seen it coming when the roses died. You should have listened when he said good night. He really meant good bye.
You cry and you cry, you try to stop, but you realise his love drove you crazy. You thought you and him would win against the test of time.
You were blind.
It makes you mad because you wanted it bad for you both.
Now it's sad that whatever you had, theres no saving it.
You know he's... Sleeping. But theres something you've just got to say. You wonder if he'll hear you while he's... Dreaming.
You felt the winds of change fly through you. You opened up your eyes, and let them roam the open sky.
You close up your feelings, hiding the pain. And pick your phone up with your numb hand.
As you clicked the 'home button' it stabbed its way theough your eyes, gleaming from the lock screen.
Janet - 'Y/N, Michaels... He's gone. Dead. '
(3 mins ago)
Your heart is a mess. Nothing inside of you is working. It's as if you couldn't care less. It seems your wasting away.
Your in a place, where faces are so cold. You're alone, and all you do is think. You thought you had something that couldn't be taken away, your love and your pride.
Your heart beats like a drum, every hit, sinking into your gut, bleeding the feelings.
Only god would know the reason. But he must of had a plan.
Sunny days seem far away. He's gone.
You're alone and cold inside. You drown in the silk sheets as you drift into what you feel is hell.
Throwing you down to the ground where your hit repeatedly, extracting the strength for you to recover.
He's out of your life. Michael is gone.
And there is not a possible way to wash away the pain, that feels as thick as blood. You don't know wether to live or die. It cuts you like a knife.
It was out of your hands, not your fault. To think for three years he was here, and you took him for granted.
You've learned too late.
You whisper to the heavens, in a croaky cry.
"Michael,...whatever happens. Dont let go of my hand."
