PA girl

Prologue

Dear Diary,
*well notes on my phone*
My therapist said I should write things down to help me understand and cope. Funny, my grandma said the same thing last year. Where to start?
I'm 17 right now.

I should start at the beginning, right?

Well, I was born in 2002 on February 28th. Pisces. My mom had to get a c-section because I was in distress lol- ever the drama queen.

Maybe someday, someone's going to read this note and be like "omg this is a diary from the 21st century once they switched to technology!"

I have a younger brother by 3 years. He's a real pain.

I started private school young, I liked learning rip. But I started getting picked on in 4th grade. Petty stuff.

Putting almonds on seats and saying it was saved at the lunch table, calling me names, and spreading rumors behind my back. I was naive, bubbly, and kind so I didn't understand then.

When middle school came it got better for a bit. I made friends until the other girls told them I was weird and was trying to steal someone's (one of the bullies) identity.

By 8th grade I had gotten depressed, Covid, Loneliness and bullying finally caught up. My straight A's disappeared and I never did any work.

I had to go to therapy. I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety- yay!! But a few good things came out of it. I made friends, found a passion for reading... and I decided to leave.

Enough of my sappy pre-high school life. This is my online diary so I will start with myself now.

My name is Arabella (Ara or Bella) Greene and I am about to be a sophomore in high school.

My hair is curly -heat damaged a bit though. I have like a light brown color but with blonde highlights. They look pretty natural but they are not lol.

My eyes are my fav feature, they are like blue-green with a yellow ring.  I'm pretty short right now, like 5'2 but I think I might get a bit taller.

Before I go and complain about my *tw* stretch marks on my chest, arms, and sides. And the rolls on my stomach. I just want to say I don't hate my body- I hate that society hates my body.

And society rules like EVERYTHING
Anyway...

I've been dancing forever, started with ballet but by the time I was 8, I was doing multiple styles. My favs now are hip hop, contemporary, jazz fusion, and lyrical.

I'm not like really really good though. I want to be.

Now for the part, my therapist wants (now that I'm done with my introduction to journaling which I might never do again)

Today was eh... I'm kind of tired. Taking vitamin D has been helping though. School just ended so I'm packing. I'm really anxious to spend my summer in NYC. It's a city. It isn't home. I don't know anyone. Well except for Grey.

I'm going to spend the summer doing dance intensives with my friend.

I hope this will be a good experience and I don't have more than 3 anxiety attacks.

Grey and I met last year and bonded over our love of drag race...we got closer once we realized we both had anxiety.

I love Grey they are one of my best friends. They are in fact non binary in case the "they" didn't make sense (if it didn't plz leave lol)

Joeffry is this huge dance school and Grey and I auditioned for summer intensive programs. I got into hip hop, lyrical, contemporary, jazz, modern, and musical theatre.

Grey got into the same (minus modern but they do ballet too)

I'm pretty excited, with covid and everything going on life has sucked. Hopefully, summer 2021 will be good- with vaccines letting people do stuff again.

That's it for today's entry.
Mood: 🤩
Energy: 8/10
Anxiety 9/10 😬
———————————————————————————