Chapter I: January

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Pain. I was drowning in it. Sorrow, flooding my mind. My lungs felt like someone was trying to ring them out like rags. Squeezing and causing me to not only gasp for air but wheeze on what I could get.

My heart felt like nails were digging into it and ripping it apart aggressively.

I was panting deeply, trying to catch my breath, I didnt even realize I was a vampire and didn't really need the air in my lungs.

Tears flooding from my tearducts.

Was I hyperventilating? Having a panic attack? Can Vampires pass out from lack of oxygen?

"Frankie." I could feel the presense of someone touching me. Trying to soothe me. But I was numb to the actually feeling. I needed out. I need air. I need, I need..

Without a word, I flash myself out of my son's room. Running into walls as I try to gasp for the air I so desperately needed. By the time I made it outside, I crumpled to the ground.

Sobbing.

This was my life now. Pain and Guilt. This was my fault. My fault.

-

I was currently in the study, filling vials of my blood up. The thought of finding witches to track my son on my mind- thats all that mattered. Finding Tucker. My emotions had been numbed. I didn't turn my humanity off- but it was the next thing I will end up doing if necessary.

"Frankie?" I kept my eyes on the vial I was currently filling. Ignoring the person coming into the room with me. The cut on my hand kept healing too quickly. So every time, I would dig the knife deeper, make it last longer. "What are you doing?!" I heard the person exclaim before running over to me and grabbing my hand. The vial I had been filling up being knocked from my hand and falling to the ground, shattering.

"Get off of me!" I screamed, yanking my hand from them. My eyes on the shattered glass of the vial.

"Frankie. Look at me." But I didn't. I stared right at the glass. "Frankie. We are all trying to save Tucker, but this-" His hands had cupped my checks causing me to pull away. My eyes looking up to meet brown eyes. Elijah.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I growled out. Elijah's eyes saddened. I only felt the tiniest amount of guilt in me before I got up to clean up the glass.

"Frankie..At least tell us what your plan is. Why are you filling vials?" Elijah tried again. I snapped my gaze at him as he started to tidy up the glass with me.

"I'm filling vials so I can give them to Witches to track my son."

"Our son." Elijah corrected as he looked at me. I took in a sharp breath as I stared at him.

"And yet, I have yet to see you try anything." I snapped before standing up, grabbing the vials I had and leaving Elijah in the study alone.

-

Elijah stood in the living room with his brothers and Kai. Frankie had left not long before with her box of vials.

"She won't look at me or let me to touch her-" Elijah informed his family. Worry clear in his tone and eyes. Kol frowned.

"You don't think she turned her humanity off, do you?" He chimed in. Elijah shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. But I think it's teetering. She's driving herself crazy."

"She hasn't been feeding, either." Kai spoke up. Everyone snapped their eyes to him. Worry and anger in them.

"Why didn't you say something before?" Finn spoke up. Kai sighed.

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