Archon war AU angst and fluff
Alatus (Xiao) is serving under his father, Morax, but with his father becoming more aggressive and controlling by the day, Alatus finds himself drifting away from him. He spends more time away from home, in his mother's...
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Xiao POV:
I teleport back to the home I share with my parents, thinking about what just happened, it's odd, a god that's supposed to be my worst enemy appears and I just decide to join him? I have my reasons, of course, but it's still a bit odd
I see that my parents are snuggling on the couch, it's obvious that they love each other very much, yet they have arguments every day
The arguments happen because of my father being so ruthless and my mother being caring and gentle
I've seen when my father was less like he is now, but the way my mother describes him from the beginning of Teyvat, it's unrecognizable from who he is now
It's so odd how someone can change so much over the years, though it has been four thousand years so that's a lot of time for change, I can't imagine living that long, but I'll be that old someday
My parents are quietly whispering and mumbling to one another, curled up in each other's arms
Honestly, they're pretty cute together, and if they weren't I wouldn't exist so I'm glad for their marriage
I smile lightly then go upstairs to my room, still thinking about my encounter with Barbatos, I had a really weird feeling when I saw him, and it wasn't a bad one
I can't describe the feeling exactly, but I felt warm inside, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him
I want him to wrap me in his big beautiful white wings what the fuck? I think to myself, this is weird
But being wrapped in his wings would be so warm... So nice... So... Stop it Alatus, get a grip
My face heats up at the thought, I don't know why I'm feeling this, I've never felt this before, and it's not like I can just ask someone, no one can know about this... Ever.
I will keep these thoughts inside my mind, even though I have no clue what they mean
His wings look so soft though... "STOP IT" I whisper yell at myself
I curl into a ball on my bed, burying my face into the sheets, I need to stop thinking about this before it gets out of hand
This probably means I'm just a huge creep, I would never want to be a creep to him, I just want to pet his wings
OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP I yell in my head, whatever part of my brain is giving me these thoughts needs to stop, it's weird and creepy
Plus why am I so obsessed with his wings anyway? Why not his hair or something? No that would be even creepier
"Uggggggg" I grumble trying to think of anything to get this shit out of my head
Then again this isn't causing anyone any harm, and I'd rather not think about the war or my parents so...
I decide it's ok to think about this, as long as I never tell anyone about it, because then they'd think I'm creepy as fuck
I lay curled up in my bed, fantasizing about Barbatos for god knows how long, my face covered in a red blush
I hope that no one comes in here right now because otherwise I'm fucked, they'll know my secret and dad will probably sentence me to death or something
I pull my blanket over my head and hide under it, still fantasizing, it's nothing dirty, just cuddles and the such
Then I realize something, my parents cuddle, does that mean... I'm in love with Barbatos?!
No no that can't be it I just met him, platonic cuddles, ya, that's what they are, platonic
Platonic, platonic, platonic, platonic... I keep repeating the word in my head, trying to convince myself it's PLATONIC, can I emphasize that enough?!
P L A T O N I C I spell it out in my head, it is platonic, nothing more, right? No, I'm not gay... Or am I?
I'm internally screaming at this point, I'm questioning everything at this moment, when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING
I'm having a mid-life identity crisis, except I'm 19 so that's a... Young adult identity crisis? I don't know it doesn't matter
Whatever time of life identity crisis it is, it doesn't matter, an identity crisis is an identity crisis
But is it an identity crisis? Am I even an Adeptus? Is the war even real? Is this all just a dream?!
I'm hyperventilating at this point, I'm freaking out so much I didn't notice that my mother had entered my room
"Alatus?" she asks pulling the blanket off of my head "are you ok honey?" she wears a smile but her eyes give away her concern
"I-" I try to speak through my fast breaths
"Shh... It's ok..." she brushes my black and teal hair out of my eyes "take as much time as you need"
I begin to calm down, just her presence makes me feel less stressed, after a few minutes my breathing slows to a normal pace
She smiles at me "what happened?" she asks kindly, her long wavy light brown hair draping over her small figure
"It's... I don't want to talk about it..." I sigh, hoping she doesn't pry
"Ok, sweetie, just remember that you can tell me anything" she says with a kind smile
I nod, though I'll never tell her what I was stressing about, I don't want to tell anyone, let alone my mother, that would be way too embarrassing
We just sit there in silence for a moment before she says "dinner will be ready in half an hour" then leaves the room
Tomorrow will be the day I rebel, the day I join Barbatos' side, I hate to betray my mother, but I have to do this
Sorry mom...
A/N: Holy shit that was like a whole chapter of self-projection, hope you enjoy it anyway though lmao
