High in the Grey Tower

Chapter Fourteen

"You can't do this to me Fei," Ruth's voice came out harsh and broke through a sob. He couldn't even recognize his own voice as he pleaded with her. He was wracked with silent sobs as his breath hitched in his throat. He couldn't get his mind to clear. He was so sad. He was angry. He was so angry.

"Ruth-"

"After all of this time, you want to just throw everything away?" Ruth's fingers gathered into fists as he clenched his jaw. "You think I don't know who you are? What you're capable of?"

"It's not that simple, Ruth." Fei's sharp eyes bore a hole right through him. Her lips pursed into a line and Ruth felt his blood start to boil. He would not be spoken to like a child.

"You're the one trying to complicate things! We've spent decades together in that fucking Tower and you think that suddenly I should be afraid of you?"

"That's not what I'm saying-"

"I'm not afraid of you, Fei! You're afraid of yourself because you can't control it yet," Ruth snapped. Fei's expression quickly turned into a sneer and she turned on her heel away from Ruth. Ruth tried to calm himself down, but he knew that he was right. She shouldn't be doing this to him. It was so unfair. Fei turned back quickly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I don't want to fight with you, Ruth."

"You just want to abandon me and never speak to me again." Fei scowled at his response, huffing as she turned away again.

"Stop being stupid. You know I don't want this either," Fei trailed off at the end. Ruth balled his fists tighter. "If things could be different, maybe we could've-"

"Save it." Ruth shook his head in disbelief. He thought he was saving her from the Tower so they could... So they could be together. That's what he really wanted selfishly. It stung his heart to think that maybe Fei didn't feel the same way. Maybe she was acting this way because she had a secret lover back at the Tower. Or maybe--

"Fine," Fei finally resigned. She pursed her lips together before grabbing Ruth's hand with her own, gently opening his fingers to clasp a folded note. Ruth's skin burned like she was taking a hot iron to his fingertips. If he wasn't so angry he might've savored the feeling.

"Ruth--"

"I said," Ruth snapped, "save it."

A long silence followed. Ruth almost felt embarrassed, bickering with Fei in the complete silence of the forest despite never fighting once in the Tower. He sighed and turned to face her again.

But there was no one there.

"Fei?" Ruth called, hesitantly. There's no way she would've just left. Ruth stumbled a few paces in each direction, but couldn't find a single trace of Fei.

A stream of curses fell out of his mouth, but he really was alone. His eyes fell to the parchment he had just crumpled in his hand. He carefully unfolded it. He knew exactly what it would say. He knew he would've written the same thing if the roles had been reversed.

I love you.

His heart dropped into his stomach.

If the time comes -- you'll find me in The Below.

Ruth's cheeks grew red. He felt stupid. He felt betrayed. He felt shame.

He packed his papers and took whatever path through the forest he found first. And he walked.

•••

Ruth's eyes flew open and he sat up with a jerk. Someone yelped and fell aside with his sudden movement. He coughed up a mouth of sand and rolled to his side, away from the other person's stunned form beside him.