Fear

Back to school

I'm going back to school tomorrow for the first time since the big fight and revelation of my MPD. Saying I'm nervous is a huge understatement and I'm on the verge of a full blown panic attack. Currently, I'm in my capsule, crying my eyes out. My heart hurts so bad and feels so heavy in my chest as the dread I feel pushes on my stomach.

I don't see why I need to go back. Sure, I asked for it and was excited to have a normal life but now it's torture. Having people take huge swings at your self-esteem will do that do you and now I don't know what to do. I'm partially scared because I know I'm going to get an especially hard beating for even raising a hand in the popular's direction.

No, I'm not scared, I'm terrified.

Terrified of what they will do to me. Terrified of how I will react. Terrified how I will end up. I walk upstairs and greet Bree and Adam as they look at me sadly. Bree's bruises are cleared up and she's now walking without crutches, although she never told me what happened to her but I know I'll find out eventually.

All three of us walk out of the front door and make our way down to the car, I feel my anxiety shoot through the roof. I'm scared out of my mind and I have no way to control it, I'm afraid that Spike might come out but I'm now on medication for that so I don't have to worry about it, for the most part.

I watch the scenery fly by as I sit in the back seat with my head pressed to the cool glass of the window. Bree keeps shooting me worried glances from the passenger side mirror but I just ignore them. As we pull into the parking lot I am hesitant to actually step out of the car but Bree's smiling face encourages me to take the first step towards torture.

Now I'm walking towards the school, things not really comprehending enough this morning to give enough detail of what's going on. All I know is: that I was crying, that I was in the car with Bree and Adam, and that I got out of the car and walking towards the school as my anxiety gets worse. I'm not ready for this. I try to turn back but Bree keeps a hand on my shoulder encouraging me to go forward.

My first class isn't with Bree and I realize this when I'm trying to find something to think about to block out the stares and whispers. Everyone's whispering something.

"That's the freak who beat up those dudes and got put in the looney bin!"

"I heard he was certifiably insane."

"Dumbass broke my friend's nose. He's dead."

That last comment made me panic inside and I rush to my class. Right before I make it inside, a large hand grabs my shirt and pulls me into a nearby empty classroom. Inside, I see who pulled me aside and freak out immediately. It was one of the kids who Spike fought. "So," The kid started. "You broke my nose. You, a little punk, broke my nose. I'm going to hurt you so bad for this!" 

I shift slightly, extremely panicked. "Listen, I'm really sorry but can't we settle this some other way?" 

"Nope." 

And after that, I was unconscious.

Hey guys! I just thought I would do a quick update. I wasn't caught up with Lab Rats and I went to go watch it but what is the deal with the Bionic Island thing? Anyway, That won't be included in this story so I guess it's kinda AU. Will you guys consider checking out my new Zoey 101 story "Heart Break"? See ya lovelies!