Must be the eyes

Part 18

a/n: lyrics from "Todavía" by Pandora

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You sighed as you entered the history's classroom. It has been two weeks since the funeral. One more left for graduation. And it has been a nightmare.

Everyone looked at you with pity and treated you like you were made of glass. You knew they were trying to be empathetic and you appreciated it, but it didn't help much at all. The hallways were your arch enemy, because they were so big and cold and seemed to be longer without Nick's presence by your side.

Nick.

Every single thing here reminded you of him. There wasn't a single spot in the whole school that didn't have a memory of him. That's why you were so hurt with the world. Students and teachers were so nice to you, always telling you what a great human he was, but the moment they left your side, it was like they totally forgot about him. They kept moving without him, reminding you of him but forgetting it the moment you turn to the other side. It was like they wanted to act as if he never existed in the first place.

Your teachers even started to skip his name on the list. And it hurt so much. Because it was a reminder that he wasn't there anymore. You couldn't understand how they dared to call Nick a good and brilliant student and then just completely skip his name without second thought.

All the teachers, except Agatha Harkness.

That monday, when you had your first history class without Nick, Agatha took roll and for a moment you were afraid she would skip Nick too. But she didn't. The entire room fell silent when she said his name and you could feel the gazes of your classmates on you. You knew they probably thought she was being terribly cruel to you, but you couldn't feel more supported and loved.

You locked eyes with her before giving her a small smile and raised a trembling hand "he's in the bathroom" you said with a broken voice "I'll say present for him".

Agatha nodded and continued with the list, as if Nick was actually going to walk through that door at some point to join the class.

After the initial shock, your classmates followed your example and every time Agatha said his name on the roll call or if a teacher made a mistake and mentioned it by accident, one of them would give an excuse, saying that he was in the cafeteria or printing his homework, or something else.

But they always said "I'll say present for him."

It was a nice way to remember him, to make it clear that he had started this journey with you and will finish it with everyone. It was to take him with you to the end, to say "we are not going to forget you. You're not gone, not at all"

__________________

You sighed when you entered the house and left your things next to the door. You haven't dared to take them further into the house, no matter how many times Agatha assured you you were more than welcome here.

The night Nick died, the brunette asked you if you wanted to stay in your apartment, but it was too painful for you, too many memories so she took you to her house instead. You haven't slept at your place ever since. You were afraid to be left alone, because you quickly discovered that you were a terrible company for yourself.

Agatha watched as you sat on the couch, hugging your legs and staring at your phone. She had been doing everything she could to help you. From hugging you for hours to take you for a walk, or bring you some of your favorite food and watch your favorite movies. But nothing helped, because everything reminded you of Nick.

It was so painful for her, watching you like that. There were some times when it seemed like everything was fine, that you were moving forward, but then you reached out to pick up the cell phone, ready to call Nick and tell him something, or some nights when you were still waiting for a good night message from him.

And then you realize everything yourself, reality catches up with you and everything falls apart again.

The brunette held the quartz around her neck. She hadn't taken it off since the moment Nick passed away. She felt like she was failing him, like she was breaking her promise. But she wasn't ready to lose, not yet.

The change has been so huge

I can not accept

You looked out of the window. You knew Nick was never here, and that was what made Aggie's house the perfect bunker for your sorrow. There weren't any memories of him here. And yet, your mind played tricks on you, mixing up memories with reality, making you imagine him arriving with ice cream or inviting you to the movies.

I still wait for you to come back one day

I still sit at my door in the evenings to see you arrive

Agatha respected your time of mourning, but she also tried so hard to help you keep all the pieces together. She wanted to see you happy again, and she will be patient and stay by your side, no matter what. She'd never rest until she saw that pretty smile of yours she loved so much. Even if it seemed like Nicholas took your smile with him.

I'm still here.

It was a terribly sad dance. And the older woman just hoped she could stop the cruel melody you danced to. Because she saw you withering with sadness and she knows a part of you left with Nick, she just prays that she would be able to help you.

I still don't alter the plans we made

I still love you even more than my life, I can't forget you

There is still love.