After the End

Complications

Andrew and I started seeing each other regularly. His smile made my dark days that much brighter, but a darkness was growing within me. Every time he leaned close and my heartbeat wildly, I shied away. All I wanted, was to tell him everything, but I knew the moment I did he would never touch me again. Dr Stadler had said I was only infectious through blood but who would take that chance? How could I with any sort of good conscious take that chance with someone who didn't know what they were risking.

I knew I had to tell him. I just didn't know how.

He had asked me round to dinner and I could tell he wanted more. The looks he was giving me. He was constantly touching me in a million different ways. A hand on my shoulder. The light touch of his fingertips on my arm. A protective arm curled around my waist as we walked. The caress as he brushes the hair out of my face.

The radio was on in the background, and we sat close enough on the couch for our knees to touch. We took turns feeding each other Jiaozi and laughing as the juices dripped down his chin. He used a finger to collect it before it ran onto his shirt and sucked it off grinning at me all the while. I almost choked. He picked up another piece with his chopsticks and said, "Open up."

I dutifully opened my mouth as he placed the potsticker on my tongue and I quickly raised my hand to my lips as the morsel was a little too hot. I awkwardly held it there trying to cool it before biting down and letting the juices fill my mouth. A tiny trickle escaped from the corner of my lips and before I knew it, he was leaning forward, his intentions bleedingly obvious.

I shook my head quickly and placed my chopstick hand against his shoulder. He was breathing heavily and pushing against my hand whispered in my ear, "What is holding you back Tessa?" I swallowed the dumpling and stammered, "You don't know... And you need to know."

"Then tell me." He sighed breathing in to smell my hair.

"Then get back!" I shouted pushing him back to the other side. We were both breathing heavily. His eyes were full of desire. I could feel myself yearning to close the gap. To let him hold me the way he wanted to but no. The risk of infection isn't zero and he had to know before we took that step.

"You know that I've been through some stuff." I focused on the wall just to the left of his head, so I didn't need to look at his expression. In my peripheral vision I could see him nod. "The fact is that whilst on the outside I look completely normal, I still have the disease present in my system. It's generally blood borne, and I've been told that I'm unlikely to infect someone from physical contact, but I just need you to know. I need you to know the risk."

I took a look at his face. He was still as a statue but looked straight at me with his dark eyes. His hands were clenched down by his sides and his expression was unreadable. "Is it something like HIV?" he asked his eyebrows turning down. I took a deep breath to answer when suddenly a news broadcast came on the radio.

Breaking news. The amazing team at Biogenesis Labs have just cured another person of Lepra Cavum 5 from the recent outbreak at the South Australian border. We've received reports that the person in question is a young male in his early twenties and is being transported for further medical care to their specialist hospital here in Perth.

My jaw dropped. I was no longer the only one. Trust Dr Stadler to go and do more testing on unwitting victims without even telling me it was coming. I immediately flashed back to my first few hours in hospital. The brutal decontamination. My sore wrecked body hosed from all sides like a car. Seeing no-one but glass masks and full body suits.

"I have to go." I muttered I put my half-eaten bowl on the coffee table and pushed myself up from the couch. "Woah." Andrew also got up from the couch with his hands reaching out to me. "Slow down." I busily turned from where I was to go collect my bag from the bench. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that I wasn't allowed to say it. I think I'd be ok with it. I'd be careful." He was talking quickly whilst following me around as I got ready to leave.