His Beating Heart (Epistolary) ✔️

93

Silas Mateo
@/macromoleford
05-11 03:58 AM

Silas:
We talked and no one wants to sleep so we can watch each other. We don't even want to close our eyes because closing our eyes is can make us sleep. It's insane, but you have to sleep.

You haven't been sleeping for almost two days and I don't want you to die from lack of sleep. I don't want you to die before me, surely.

There will be times that you're awake and I'm probably sleeping and I know that in those times, you'll overthink.

And I want you to read this in those times, just to remind you that I'll wake up, no matter what happens, I'll wake up for you.

04:12 AM

Silas:
Sorry, I got a bit emotional.

Okay, here it goes

First. you're so fucking beautiful even when you're sleeping. I just want to say that coz I'm just watching you right now and that's the first thing that came in my mind. You're so gorgeous, baby and I'm obsessed with you. I can write a whole paper just to describe how gorgeous you are but I have to stop now

Second. I love you much. I'm afraid that itself can't sum up how much I love you so I'm planning to spend my whole life to prove it, but I'm pretty sure my whole life is also not enough for it.

You gave me life, Lindsay Nicholas. I prayed for a lot of thing and God gave me you, and you know what's funny? You're everything I prayed for and now I can't even ask for anything, so I'm now only praying for you.

Maybe I'll ask for a longer life now that everything fell into places already.

Third. I have to remind you to breathe, okay? It's ironic to say that but you have to take care of yourself. Grab a food and water now and eat if you haven't already, and to complete it, eat slow and eat a lot, baby. You should remember that always.

Take a nap as much as you can. You're stronger that you think you are. If holding my hand is the only way to make you sleep, please do so. I don't mind a sweaty hands if it's yours, you know that.

Fourth. trust me. There's no reason for me to give up when you're still here, so I'm fighting everyday. I promise you that I won't lie ever again so I'm creating another promise.

I promise you I'll do everything to live. Heart attacks be damned, I'm spending a lifetime with you, baby. We're gonna be a doctor, we'll have a family, and we'll raise our kids.

That's how it will go in the future. So, trust me with this one, yes?

Lastly, I know you'll gonna say I sound like I'm saying a vow. You always say that, teasing me whenever I say how much I love you but you also do the same thing after. I guess we're in this endless wedding vow everyday, then?

Ps. Stop reminding me not to say 'fine' in our wedding because there's no way in hell I'm gonna say it.

Pps. You'll also gonna hear the best 'I do' you'll be hearing in your whole life during our wedding, so hang on there, we'll get through this.