5000 years later She came back from the dead and slapped da SHIT outta me, I disnt appreciate it, so I back handed her ass through the FUCKIN SUN THROUGH AND ALL 9 ALLIGNED PLANETS, "GET THAT WEAK ASS SHIT OUTTA HERE" she replied
"bitch" the words escaped my lips
The undescribabaly priceless look she sent me was hilarious
She sped at me flying a gajillion lightyears a nano second
Just enough to shred the Selectus allestious confidentous of existence, disturbing the multiverse
Of course, since she was a huge whore (literally) she was hard to dodge, but I just barely managed to pass her fist of unexistiential and udder impossible force just in time for her to obliterate de shit outta mercury
I thought it was over, but she just started consuming it, the fat shitant was eating fucking mercury, you cant make this shit up!
Once the little (very not ok word) finished, I already knew the sun was next. A big ass solar ball of pire energy, why wouldnt she? Thankfully I anticipated this.
The open existence collectum left by the Asshat, was brimming with untamed energy. If there was anyway I could take her down, it was with it.
I harnessed the power of the tear like a lasso (It felt like a big ass twizzler with rabies) and clamped onto her, she struggled and struggled, but I was too damn detirmined to take this bitch down for leaving me on read 23 years ago.
10:12
Martha: Yeah I got it
10:45
Me: all right well ima go to sleep, I love you baby.
/read\
11:18
Me: you bitch
"You deserved it bitch" Martha's bitch ass spattered
"Only I say bitch, bitch" I replied
"Shut up you little bitch" the shitty lil slut responded
"You phyco bitch" I reshat
"You bitchy bitch bitch" the phyco bitch reiterated
"You crusty musty lusty dusty, cream cheese no knees febreeze, animal chicken peanut butter and chhese cracker ass sandwich with an extra side of horton hears a who, bitch ass, lookin like a whole fuckin air fried hot dog with yo big ass, built like a mutha fukin refrigerator with yo punk ass, lose some damn weight you fukn oompa loompa charlie brown and choclate factory bitch, where ya fukinn KNEES AT, YOU AINT PRAYN TO YO LAWD AN SAVIOR ANEH TYME SOON BIOTCH, with yo phineas and ferb lookin ass, whole as pentagon fo a fukin head" I replied calmy
By this point 7 years ago her mom who aint got no kids aborted her bitch ass yesterdays ago, so she had to walk her pet fish on a run during work at home inside so her sisters aunts brothers son could go to his job yesterday tommorow 3 weeks ago, but on god he his cousin stubbed her fukin toe now she cant hear outta his nose so right later I think im fucked tommorow days into the past, but I think ill be fine
To be continued...
YOU ARE READING
How I met youre mother
רומנטיקהHow I met youre mother So son, wanna know how you were born?
