Oblivious ironicism

3

As he was listening to the teacher drone on, he noticed a familiar, purple boy.

"hey, Liam!" Brian said.

"what do you want?"

"is class always this boring? i literally wanna fucking roll my head out of the room just so i dont have to be here"

"wouldn't that kill you?"

"just 'cause ive never tried it doesnt mean that it'll kill me"

"well don't fucking try it! just because you've never stayed underwater for 3 hours doesn't mean it won't kill you!" hissed liam, "why the fuck would you even try that?!?"

"well... ive stayed underwater for 1 1/2 hours, i was fine then."

"dont you see gotta that would kill a normal person?!?"

"yeah, i guess so. also the water in my lungs was annoying for months."

"and cutting off your head is very much more deadly than staying underwater."

"is there anything you two boys would like to share with the class?" asked Mr. Giant Stone Head "Learning how to properly jump scare people is extremely important to monster society!"

(yes this mf is real and yes he teaches AP jump scares i looked it up lmao)

Liam immediately turned a deep shade of purple that brian didn't know existed.
"cutting off your own head and staying underwater for 1 1/2 hours is bad for you" Brian stated bluntly

"well. i don't really know how you lived to high school without knowing that, but next time pay attention to class."

Liam glared at Brian with a 'now look what you did, fuckass!' kind of look, and Brian just shrugged. He didn't much care, and honestly he just wanted to sleep. In fact, he decided to act on that idea. As he started to doze off, he saw Liam roll his eyes and go back to taking notes.

The harsh sound of the bell woke him up. Had it really been 45 minutes? he saw everyone packing up and shuffling to the door, and he assumed so. As he walked into the school halls, he knew it was going to be a long day.

"wakey wakey" said the teacher "you do realize that's an instant detention, right?"

"Yeah. What room number it it again?"

"507

"great"

His classes were a big slog. He hardly knew anyone, and almost got detention a couple times for sleeping in class, but he slept with his eyes open, so it just looked like he was tripping balls. No one said anything, though, so he didn't either.

time-skip to lunch

Brian looked around the cafeteria. There weren't many people, because a lot of them go home, or out to eat. He decided to sit with Calculester, as Oz told him that Calculester was the nicest out of the bunch, and is just a really friendly guy.

"Hello, new friend! I do not believe we have met. My name is Calculester Hewlett-Packard. What is your name?" said the robot.

"Name's brian. Nice to meetcha."

"How are you adjusting to the new school setting?"

"I'm doing well for myself, thanks. I did get a detention for sleeping in class, but it's whatever. I'll just sleep through that too."