"DEAR GOD YOU MET HIM!?" Kevin's yells.
Ian says while crying "Y-yes..."
"WHAT DID HE SAY? WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU? DID HE TOUCH YOU? OH MY GOD HE TOUCHED YOUR PENIS!" Says Kevin.
"No, he didn't touch me or my penis...he just told me..." Ian trails off.
"WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?"
"He...he told me *whispers in Kevin's ear* he ate the pudding cups..."
"JESUS H. CHRIST THAT BITCH!"
"He also told me that he wants to talk to you later tonight...He left his number and said that maybe yall can grab dinner or something."
Ian hands Kevin a torn piece of paper with the wizards number on it.
"Ian do you really think I'm going to go "grab dinner" with this monster? I mean for gods sake, he ate all the pudding cups. THE PUDDING CUPS!!! I mean he had a variety of things he could have ate but he had to choose the pudding cups! Our pudding cups!" Kevin rants.
"Kevin this isn't just about the goddamn pudding cups...this is about you being a FUCKING LLAMA! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS HAVING A LLAMA AS A BROTHER?"
"Uhh...I don't know..."
"THATS RIGHT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! CHRIST I CANT EVEN JACK OFF IN PEACE CAUSE OF YOU COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME!"
Kevin sighs. He looks at the torn piece of paper his brother gave him with the wizards number on it. He looks closely and notices that it's not the wizards number it's Jenny's number... 867-5309.
"DAMN IT IAN! HE DIDNT GIVES US HIS NUMBER HE GAVE US TOMMY TUTONE HIT SONG 867-5309 / JENNY!" Kevin yells.
"WHAT?" Ian grabs the piece of out of Kevin's hoove. Ian yearningly looks at the torn paper. He rolls his eyes and tears the paper in half.
"That damn wizard... Well it looks like you're on your own..." Ian say as he shoos Kevin out of his room and slams the door.
"WAIT! WHAT ABOUT THE PUDDING CUPS AREN'T YOU MAD ABOUT THAT!?" Kevin yells through door.
"Nah I don't even like pudding cups that much I just like having something to yell at you for."
"WHAT ABOUT ME COMPLAINING SO MUCH THAT IM A LLAMA AND YOU CANT JACK OFF IN PEACE WITH ME COMPLAINING!!"
Ian cracks the door open and sticks his head out the door and says "Ooo yeah...I forgot about that...I guess I'll help you then..."
"Really!?"
"No, don't give a fuck Kevin. Now go, leave." Ian closes his door.
Kevin slouches and walks down stairs to the living room. As Kevin was half way down the stairs Ian comes running out his room and pushes Kevin down the stairs and runs back to his room.
Kevin lays on the grown in front of the stairs, disappointed and says
"How could this day get any worse?"
~To Be Continued~
YOU ARE READING
My Life as a Llama
Non-FictionKevin was just a normal kid with a abusive brother until he meets a magical wizard and turns him into a llama. Will Kevin ever be a normal kid again? Ha probably not Kevin is a fuck up anyway.
