OLD Campus Crush

6

::Troye Sivan as Lucas Montana::

A ghoulish look on my face, I couldn't help but stare at Nash as he ate his food next to Ava, who was chatting with Lucas. It was apparent that he'd lost his appetite because he was picking through his eggs.

My fingers trembled slightly as I attempted to ask my roommate a daring question. He already hated me for sure. For one thing, he didn't want to be around me outside of our room, yet here we were, eating together. And we had no say in this outcome.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I queried, worry in my eyes. I didn't want him to think that I was judging him, but that I was genuinely concerned.

Without looking at me, he mumbled, "I'm not obligated to tell you anything."

"I - I know, but... just a week ago, you acted like you hated anyone who wasn't straight. But you aren't."

"I am," he affirmed, now gazing at me before sighing. "I was. I thought I was, until -you know, sometimes, shit happens and things change and people change and they let you go when they're supposed to hold your hand, and you don't see it coming..."

By the end of that statement, I'd become invisible to him and he was looking right through me, it seemed. I was in a quandary over how to respond.

"He, um... cheated?" My voice was small, guilty of prying into his business.

"I'm not talking about this." He shook his head, dropping his fork.

"I'm sorry," I quickly apologized, fearing he'd hate me even more. "But you can talk to me whenever. You know, um... Lucas and I are going to an LGBT+ event tonight at seven... I-It's at the auditorium of Evans Building, if you... wanna come. Meet some people, I guess."

A nonplussed expression crossed his face as he drank in my words before looking away. I'd never said so much to him at once. I just hoped I did the right thing.

:::

"Is it gay in here, or is it just me?" Lucas read off of one of his LGBT+ shirts as we sat, crisscrossed, on his rug as he dug through his clothes. I giggled. "Totally one of my favorites," he shared.

"You have tons in here!" I pulled out another shirt and read off of it. "Meat eater."

Lucas burst out laughing, slapping his knee for emphasis. "You won't believe the looks I used to get in high school wearing that."

I smiled, putting it back to pick another one. "Zero to gay real quick." I chuckled.

"Here, you can wear love is love to the meeting, if you don't do labels."

I nodded appreciatively, accepting the shirt. I saw a white shirt with the words in cursive reading: bottom. That made me laugh.

"You think that's funny? Wait till you see what my grandma gave me for Christmas!" Lucas dug through the bag and retrieved a shirt with a picture of a young, hot, shirtless Santa on it and a dialogue bubble with the words 'Ho-ho-homosexual! Merry Christmas!' on it. The both of us cachinnated, and I was sure the rooms beside us could hear our silliness.

"Your grandma must be really..." I didn't know how to complete that statement, but I surely intended it to be a compliment.

"Fucking cool?" Lucas finished, a short chuckle escaping his lips. "Yeah, she is. When I came out as gay, my grandma yelled, 'well, it's about time!' She was the first to accept me. It was like she wanted at least one of us to be gay or bi."

"Wow. What about your parents, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, they um..." He cast his eyes to the ground and nodded. "Yeah, they're okay with it." His reaction told me that it must have been complicated, but that didn't stop his glowing pride toward who he truly was. "We should probably get going."