OLD Campus Crush

27

The awkwardness in my room was eating me and Nash from the inside out. I was busy typing up an essay, bullshitting it to the fullest. It was unlike to me to be careless with my homework but I just wanted to get it over with. Nash was on his computer as well, but I had a feeling he wasn't paying much attention to its screen.

"Have you spoken to Ava since the um... party?" He asked all of a sudden.

"Who?" I glanced at him for a second then back at my laptop.

"Ava Norris, our friend? Forgotten her already or are you that mad at her?"

"I'm not mad at her. It's just that the party really disappointed me. All of you did."

I looked at him and he seemed to shrink into himself guiltily. "I'm sorry, Cas. I don't know how else to say it."

"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty."

"No. I deserve to feel shitty. I like you and I hurt you."

I shook my head. "I remember how bad I wanted to hear you say you like me. But you can't. You shouldn't."

"Why not? Why don't I get a chance with you?"

I sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing them. "Because there's someone else," I quietly reminded.

"He stole your heart, just like that? I think I can do the same."

"You did, Nash."

He was silent, letting himself consider my words. "You said yes," he reminded me. "Yes to a chance with you."

I saved the essay I was typing before I closed my laptop and gave him my full attention. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. I knew that I wanted to be with David, even if I had a lingering crush on Nash. "What exactly did you tell me that night?"

He shut his laptop as well, lifting his chin slightly. "Everything."

Weeks Earlier ((Nash's POV))

"I'm worried about you, Trey." I felt my breath waver and my heart stutter fearfully. "Just go back home. If you keep running away... you'll push me away too." I held the phone tightly to my ear, my eyes darting across the darkness of my dorm room.

"You're the one that broke up with me, Nash. You pushed me away."

I sank into my pillow, closing my eyes. "Because I've had enough of this. Don't you see it hurts me when you run?"

"Don't you see it hurts me to stay? And stop trying to find me because I know that's what you're doing. I knew better than to go to my usual places. I'm too far away, Nash. You won't find me."

I felt tears soak my eyes and a sob threatening to emerge. "You'll lose me if you don't come back."

"What's there to come back to?!" Trey's voice elevated in anger.

"Me!" I matched his anger. I let out a slow and shaky breath to calm myself down, sinking further into my comforting pillow. "There's me," I calmly continued. "You made me love you, remember? So come back for me. Or else I'll find someone else to love." I hung up my phone after that statement and that was exactly when my cries came.

Soon after that, I heard the door open and saw light from the hallway pour in. I tried to stop my pathetic crying. I only managed to be quieter, but I was sure my roommate could still hear me. He closed the door, letting the darkness of the night engulf the room again.

I let out a sigh, secretly glad he'd finally come back from that LGBT event. The only reason why I went to it was because he'd asked me to, and because I sort of... liked him, I guess.