30th of September

Janet Cordero

It was exactly 9 years ago when she threw herself into a bonfire at a high-school party. She was my only daughter and it broke my heart when the police called us at 2 am in the morning to inform us about her death. The trip there was a blur. I don't remember how we got to the police station, but Em's best friend, Amy, was waiting for us there with her parents. Her face was streaked in tears, which made me feel bad for her. 17 and a dead best friend.

The funeral was even more painful. I felt like I could hear her voice screaming and crying out for help. It took a few days to accept that she was really gone. And when I turned to Recce for emotional support, he shunned me away, distancing himself from me, and in a haste, I divorced him.

After 3 years, I met Micheal, got married to him 2 years later, and had a baby with him. But Recce had always been close to me, even after the divorce, we stayed friends.

Every year, at her death anniversary, me and Recce go to her grave and talk to her like she was still alive. Just the two of us. No one else. Our little family, laughing and talking like she hadn't died and had stayed alive.

I wish I had payed more attention to whether she was showing any signs of depression or self-harm and any type of suicidal activities. I'm partially to be blamed for the death of my daughter, and I won't let that happen to my son either.

Sequel under progress.