Chapter 1 - Rivalry

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It's been months since you and Mikasa have started to mess around the topic, acting just like a couple.

A real one.

That, if she didn't have a fucking boyfriend.

It all started out as a joke, so you never would have imagined that eventually it could have become something more.

The tension was obvious to anybody, even you two knew something real was growing but neither of you cared to admit it. It was a bit messed up since she had someone else.

God, you felt so stupid being jealous of them and covering it all up by making it look like just one of your funny jokes.

"I could steal your pretty girlfriend whenever I wanted to, you know?"

All the three of you were used to hear teasing comebacks like this between you and her boyfriend, Jean.

He was a nice guy, part of the reason why you felt so bad wanting to fuck the shit out of her girlfriend.

He would get so worked up over the remarks you always made about him being your rival but not standing a chance against you. Actually, you didn't even see him as a menace for the same reason.

You were absolutely aware of the effect you had on his girl.

Seeing her so frustrated would never get old. You just couldn't get tired of seeing the look on her face whenever you would make a steamy joke.

The jokes had been starting to feel more and more real as time passed by, so much more that at a certain point both of you knew those weren't jokes no more.

Especially when she came to you complaining about her boyfriend poor skills in bed.

«Sex with him is pretty boring. Most of the time he can't even make me cum and it's so frustrating...»

Why would she tell you in the first place? What did she hope to gain from sharing a topic so private with you?

You sure had some pretty accurate ideas of what she was trying to gain. You knew better than to let something so obvious like that slide.

It weren't just her words that sold that out, it was mostly the way she was caressing your skin while saying so.

You two had gotten pretty intimate over time.

«Boring, you say... that doesn't surprise me at all» you laughed, as she looked up to meet your gaze, surprised and embarrassed by the fact it seemed so obvious to your eyes.

«What do you mean by that?»

«I just can tell...» you brushed that out, not wanting to sound any more rude than you already did.

Listening to her talk bad about her sex life made you crave even more to make her feel good as only you knew you could. Cause you knew for sure.

If only she ditched that annoying boy... if only she gave you the chance... you could already picture you on top of Mikasa, watching that pretty face of hers twist in pleasure.

A so thrilling scenery that you felt a certain tickle between your legs just by imagining it.

You would make her satisfaction a priority before your own, something he surely wasn't familiar with...

«But you know what is the worst part?» she continued, going back to caress your arm «I have to fake my orgasm or his ego would get hurt... it's exhausting, y/n...»

«That's like the worst thing you could do. You should tell him the truth and maybe teach him what you like. I know that by faking you just want to prevent him getting hurt or embarrassed but if you want things to work out... if you want this whole relationship to work out you gotta talk to him directly.»

If you wished to set her up you wouldn't have been honest with her, but truth is you truly cared about her and her happiness. If she was content being with him then you might as well help her. Even if it meant you never would have gotten with her. You didn't care, you couldn't be selfish with Mikasa. She really was starting to hold a special place in your heart.

«You're right. I get it...»

That said, she stood up, walking away from you as if she hoped you would have given her a different answer.

You knew what she wanted to hear. You've known since she had started the conversation. But making a move now would have been fishy.

You didn't like to mess around with taken people, even though it would seem like it.

«Or maybe...» you teased as your usual «I could help» holding her back from going away.

As you had predicted she stopped walking, slowly turning towards your direction.

«Huh? And how would you do that, y/n?»

God, you loved how she said your name. Every fucking syllable of it sounded different from those full lips of hers.
She knew what she doing...

but so did you «It's not something I can explain with words... I'd rather show it»

As she slowly walked back until she fully faced you, you couldn't help but remind yourself of what would have been the consequences of making your dream come true.

You actually didn't know if she was just bluffing. Cause you sure weren't.

Was she aware of that while coming closer and closer to your now blushing face?

«Mikasa... you better not start something you can't finish.» you whispered, since she was close enough you didn't have to be any louder. Actually, your lips were so near that she probably would have heard anything you were saying even before you did.

«Yeah, yeah... I know» she sighed, now fully aware of how wrong it would have been kissing you, although it was all she wanted to do.

Maybe even more than just kissing.

Fortunately, she came to her senses and backed down before things could get out of hands.

Cause once you started you both knew neither of you would have been able to stop.

It was a desire you shared, a dream that should have stayed one. Or else, it wouldn't have been fair to Jean. Not at all.

God, she only had to ditch him once for all, then you could have had her all to yourself, satisfying her just as much as she deserved. Not only through sex but also through all the little things a couple does.

Cuddling, sharing hobbies, spending quality time together, buying her gifts, cooking for her, holding her hand as you walk by the park etc. etc.

For Mikasa you would have done it all.
You could be a better boyfriend than Jean, for sure. In any ambit.

«You know what? Fuck it. Ditch him.» you couldn't hold yourself back from saying exactly what you've been thinking for quite a long time now.

If she wanted you as much as you wanted her then she would have done it without any hesitation. Sadly, it wasn't the case...

«What? I can't! I actually love him y/n, it isn't all about sex...»

You couldn't stand her constant incoherence. She always had fun giving you mixed signals and it drove you fucking mad. You never knew what she actually felt about a certain situation.

«Idiot, I was just kidding» you bluntly said, not caring enough to use a sweet tone, which just contradicted your own words.

You were too irritated to even notice.

«Oh... I get it» she laughed, now once again far away from you. «By the way, before I forget to, I should tell you that Jean is coming over tonight. I hope you don't mind...»

Just what you fucking needed to hear...

«I don't, whatever» you shrugged, showing you actually couldn't care less. That's what you showed, yeah... you were seriously wishing you could have just disappeared, not feeling like facing that boyfriend of hers.

You weren't in the mood, not after the conversation you just had with his fucking girlfriend.

«Is pizza okay with you?» she then asked, just a moment before she went back to her room.

«Fine by me.» you lastly responded.

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