The Acad3my | Enhypen

13. Discovery

<What am I?>

<Hoon gets a text from HER, what am I to you? He drops his phone. JK picks it up.> 

JK: What's wrong Hoon? SH: MF* B* is stalking me. JK: Who? SH: HER. JK: What? She's not the type. SH: Well, then you reply to her <hands his phone to JK> Wait, that's a bad idea. <takes his phone back> What do you think I should say?

JK: I don't know. I don't think anyone has ever stalked me? SH: Ok, Let's say you're madly in love with me, you would kill yourself if I rejected you and you can't live without me. JK: What? SH: How should I respond to you. JK: Wait, are we talking about your fantasy or HER. SH: What?

JK: Let me think, you want me to help you dump her a*. SH: That's right. JK: Are you sure it's her? Isn't this a conflict of interest, like the teacher-student relationship is a big no-no? I'm pretty sure this would violate an agency policy under harassment.  JK: She shouldn't be using her authority to get into your pants.  SH: Right? JK: Are you sure that's what she wants?

SH: <points to his phone> Then why is there a clown and surfer emoji? JK: What? OMG. She's so forward. What are you going to do? SH: I don't know. What do you think I should do. JK: It's not my area of expertise. SH: Oh, right. I think I need to tell her to back off. JK: Is that going to work? SH: No, I think I need to say I'm taken. yeah, I'm taken. 

JK: By who? Who can you trust? SH: Who's trustworthy? JK: JW. SH: F* No, He's too short, and way too straight, no one would believe us. JK: But you can trust him. SH: He's also a bad liar. JK: HS? SH: He's too obvious. He would make it conditional, and I can't play that game. Besides, he's taller than me. JK: Why does that matter? SH: Cuz, I'm no ones B*. JK: That's not defined by height. SH: I don't care. Even if it's fake, I'm not dating anyone taller than me.  JK: What about J?

SH: No one would believe that, he's totally not my type. JK: What's your type? SH: Short, rich, unpretentious, foreigner, kind, pure heart, killer visual, sexy, multi-talented, icon of growth, selfless and smart. JK: How about SN? SH: F* JK, weren't you listening? JK: I don't know, he was the only one left who was shorter than you.

SH: D* JK, you're not helping. Are you that clueless? JK: No, you're too obvious, why don't you just ask me. SH: I already did. JK: No you didn't. Describing me as your ideal type is not asking me.  SH: Just answer the question. JK: What's the question? SH: You're going to make me ask? JK: Why not? SH: I don't do that.

JK: Wait, are you setting me up. She didn't text you did she? How did you get her phone? Wait, you know her password? SH: Doesn't everyone just use my birthday. JK: <F* I gotta change my pw> Wait, am I in competition with everyone? SH: You're just realizing that now?

<Sweet psycho mafia boss energy>

SH: Seriously JK, I didn't send that. She's a psycho. JK: Are you sure it's not the other way around. What if she tries to kill me? SH: Don't worry JK, you would be under my protection.  JK: <S* how did he go from sweet, to psycho to mafia boss. Definitely my type> So if I agree, does that mean I'm no longer on probation? SH: <does he think I'm crazy? why is he smirking and nodding?> No, you're still on probation. JK: So what do I get out of this?

SH: You get my presence and the status that comes with the territory. JK: Wouldn't I get hate and death threats? SH: That's part of being with a celebrity. What prize isn't without risks. Besides you get to take me out.  JK: Are you mad because I have been taking JW and NK out?  SH: <jealous> No, why would I, that's what I like about you, you're nice to people <without a hidden agenda, wait, F*, you outplayed me.> Don't think I don't know what you're doing.

JK: What? You know I can just ask HER. SH: Go ahead, ask HER, she'll just deny it. JK: <thinks about it, if she did it, she would hate me, if she didn't do it, she would find it strange, and be suspicious of me and still hate me.>

JK: What if you just ignore it, like you didn't get it. If she asks, play dumb, like you don't know what she's talking about. And I can take you out more often, so she can think you might be taken and leave you alone? SH: Is that the best you can do? JK: How is this my problem again? SH: Aren't we besties? JK: Are we? SH: Aren't we? JK: Feels like you're up to something, but I can't seem to place my finger on it.

SH: Well, you have my permission. JK: Don't do that. SH: Do what? JK: Turn things into an innuendo. SH: But you're the only one who gets me. What if she's really harassing me, I need protection. JK: <strange, this doesn't sound like SH>

SH: Alright, I might have told her to get lost. She might have said I was being mean, I might have sent some misleading emoji, she might have text what am I to you, aren't we friends, I'm sorry if I hurt you, yap, yap, yap. I eventually told her to back off I'm taken, leave me the F* alone. 

JK: And you thought it was funny to show me only 1 of her messages to incriminate her, only you set her up? SH: I'm trying to protect you JK. How else are you going to believe me when I say she's a psychopath and stay away from her? JK: But she's our instructor. SH: I'm not making things up, she keeps looking at me like she wants me. It's creepy. JK: Doesn't everyone want you? 

SH: Yeah, but she's in an authoritative position. What if she abuses her power. I know she's scheming. She's the type to manipulate her environment. JK: Aren't you a little paranoid? How well do you know her? SH: She use to be my best friend and we would scheme together. I need you JK, you're my conscience. JK: Are you saying she's plotting to destroy us? Isn't she one of the main characters?

SH: I already filed a complaint, so she could get re-assigned. JK: Wait, did you go out with HER? SH: F* No, she has a small d*. JK: She's a girl. SH: No she's not, she's a SHE-man with a small d*.  

JK: Should we be having this conversation? SH: What's wrong with it? JK: It's not funny, it's kinda offensive. SH: Well, I don't know how else to describe the wicked witch of the west, or is that east? JK: West. SH: When she gets transferred, it's ding dong the witch is dead. JK: Where is all this hostility coming from. <Is he jealous, I might like her> Anyway, she's not my type either, so she's not a threat to anyone. There's no way she can break us apart or the group. Trust me.

<Bonus>

<JK talking in his sleep that night>

JK: Things don't add up. Why is Hoon acting this way? <suddenly wakes up> OMG. Hoon still has a big fat crush on her. Why else would he be behaving this way? What should I do? S* I'm going to lose him? I need to get rid of her.

<In the background you can hear a menacing song sweet but psycho reverberates Jake's intent. He slowly turns and looks deep into the camera with a sinister expression and a corner of his lips slightly lifted as he plots his next move.>

<Delirium is the new contagion>