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T W E N T Y T H R E E
I looked down at my hands, feeling quite ashamed for being this weak and pathetic.
I have been forced to be strong most of my life, especially when my mom died and my father ended up ghosting me when I needed him the most.
There has never been any room for weakness in a life I had to start facing on my own at just 17. It has always been me against the world.
Always.
"I'm sorry." I sniffed, trying my hardest to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape.
"Hey, look at me," Evan grabbed my chin, making me look at him. "You don't need to apologize to me or even try to pretend that you are okay. It's just me, Aggs."
I stared at him—his image blurred by the tears in my eyes.
It took me a second before finally allowing myself the time to let out what I had been holding in for weeks. All the pain, the frustration, the anger, and the utter emptiness that had consumed what was left of my heart was pouring out, and no matter how hard I tried to control it, I couldn't.
I let it all out while being back in the arms of the first and only man that has ever made me feel safe in my life.
The only man that I was entirely sure, without a doubt, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, no matter how many times he ended up ruining me.
I couldn't keep running away whenever things started to get rough, especially when it came to Evan.
I tried so hard for months to move on and forget about him, but the harder I tried, the harder it got for me to actually do it.
When that didn't work, I stupidly tried to be friends with him while co-parenting, but sex and our feelings got in the way of that.
Then I tried to forget about Evan's existence by casually seeing Liam, but instead of enjoying my time with an amazing and respectful man, I kept feeling terrible not only for Liam, who seemed to like me genuinely but for thinking that somehow I was cheating on Evan.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let him go.
Even after all these years, my heart still accelerates whenever I see him, just like when we met. Whenever we are on a call, and a woman shamelessly flirts with him, I can't help but feel my blood boil even though Evan never gives them any attention. At least when I was around.
Evan has made me feel things that no man before has, not even Ian. As corny and unhealthy as it sounded, I couldn't see myself living without him. Somewhere along the way, he started to become my lifeline.
