Forever and Always: wlw

Prologue: Leopards

"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." -Matthew 5:44

Prologue

Running was living; it was having the power to leave anytime she needed to, to escape the confines of walls and feel the expanse around her. In time Kenzie hoped to run, not away yet toward, not from home, from constant perfection or the possibility of becoming a disappointment, but for a peaceful existence, a weightless room built for surrender, for then she will have found sanctuary in herself.

Sweat dripped down her forehead, down her chin and onto her chest. Her heart slapped against her ribcage as she bent the corner and the track evened out. Heavy, sharp breaths, it hurt and burned but she kept telling herself that that feeling of her chest about to burst was defeat; testing her endurance.

She past the finish line and it ended just as fast as it began. When she slowed to a stop, "Eighteen seconds!" Mr. Blake announced as he jogged up to her, squatting; he lifted his blue baseball cap and scratched his balled head with his stubby pinky, his squinted face from the harsh evening sun. Her lungs burned so she avoided answering. Instead, she nodded and smiled.

She stood, hands on her hips and a huff before she tiredly sauntered over to the almost empty bleachers. From far, it looked dotted with red and yellow spots to grab her yellow hydro flask on the bench; he followed, "Great work out there, Matthews!" He patted her on the back.

"Ya can do some real damage this semester, kid." Mr. Blake began, hands crossed over his chest as he peered down at the 5 feet 3 inches of disappearing muscle.

Kenzie grabbed the lonely water bottle and took a swig, before grabbing her towel and wiping her face dry. Her heart returned to its steadiness and she finally answered him, "I can't this season, sir, I-"

"Ya have a lot of stuff to focus on." He finished her sentence, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his chapped lips that were slightly hidden under his thick unkempt moustache. He had gotten used to her telling him that. But she couldn't tell if he was smiling because he already knew what she was going to say or because he was proud of her time. This was a big leap from the last time she ran. That was two years ago. She was getting back into shape and back into her old self.

Whatever the case, it annoyed her to say no so often. She felt like she was disappointing Coach Blake all over again. Letting people down made her feel sick to her stomach, like an act of betrayal. She'd come to know the feeling quite well these past two years.

She liked running, the constant hammering in her chest, hammers against metal, atop an anvil, laying itself bare for it to become a work of art, from the nerves to the adrenaline, the burning in her legs and lungs, or the thousands of tiny critters running around in her skin as she ran; it was all exhilarating to her. She revelled the control she had when she ran but she just didn't have time for it, between the voluntary work hours at the shelter, all A.P classes this semester, debate, work and college applications, she couldn't just 'squeeze' it in. She had other priorities more important than track. What she wanted was out of the question.

She flashed him a knowing smile as she settled into her squat again. "I'm telling ya, you got er real good chance of making this yer future, it would be a shame to let all this here talent go to waste."

And she was telling him that not many good runners, get to become star athletes who then become signed professionals. She had other plans that involved sure success. Get good grades, do a great essay, get into a dream college, work her butt off and get a job to support her family. She could already hear what her mother would say if she mentioned the ludicrous idea. She said nothing. Kenzie glanced down at the water bottle in her hand and squinted to look her coach in the face, wordlessly so. "Fine," a sigh escaped him when he acknowledged that a few moments had gone by, he stepped aside, "Get on outta here then."

Kenzie gave him a firm nod before standing up and making her way to the locker room."Later, coach."

"If ya change yer mind, you'll be knowing where I'll be." He mumbled something under his yellow moustache, "She'll change her mind," then he plucked a pack of Craven 'A' from his joggers and stuck it between his lips before feeling around his pants for light to which he cursed an exasperated, "Shit."

After a quick shower, she fumbled through her duffle back for that oversized green hoodie she bought with her first paycheck at Chucky Cheese. Kenzie hated having her arms out, the thought that people were looking at her stretch marks made her feel sick. While rummaging through for that green oversized hoodie she loved so much she found her folded Physics test she had frustratedly stuffed in there earlier that day. A B+, she stared at it for a minute before roughly shoving it inside her bag and deciding she could do without that hoodie. She felt like a failure. Plenty of kids would be happy about a B+ but not Matthews. Nothing was good enough unless it was excellent.

She grabbed her duffle bag and her backpack and headed out the heavy double doors of the school. West Valley High wasn't your typical public high school. It was a school for the elite, the best of the best. Wealthy white people sent their kids here for the best education. You get in because you have what it takes or because your parents fund the school's outrageous 'educational' trips to Venice. Of course, she never went, she hadn't the money.

The school was empty by now, except for the janitor, dedicated teachers sitting in on detentions, overachieving high schoolers like herself and- "Hey, Fatty Matty!"

And jocks who were a waste of space and air. She knew who it was before she saw his horrendous excuse for a face. She groaned when she saw it was the dots that were in the bleachers earlier. Stafford McGrady, poster boy and resident asshole, Mitch Conyak, Stafford's henchman and finally, Corben Summers, the wannabe poser, the three amigos together in one place doing the same thing they've done for the past five years. Messing with the fat girl and they've always been a thorn in her side. Years later and their insults were just as original. 

She veered left as soon as she heard Stafford's creative comments. Through clenched teeth, she managed, "Not today McGrady."

Normally, she'd ignore him, but today she just couldn't deal with it. "Why not? You know this is our thing," He nudged Mitch, and whispered but still loud enough for her to hear, "For real though, how much do you think one of those things weighs?"

They laughed and she kept walking them, "I don't know, try seeing if one can fit in your hand first," Mitch answered.

She knew they were talking about her chest. Kenzie burned holes into the walls just thinking about how unfair it was, bigger boobs were a nuisance. They got in the way of running like they were threatening to fall off her chest. She wouldn't mind it if she woke up one morning and they were gone, but it was worse when people had something to say about it. They were slightly bigger than average, it's the boobs that these white girls bought at doctor's offices and the ones these boys went crazy for. They were the perfect pair of boobs, just not on her, not on a biracial girl. With a 'fuck you' smile, she turned around and flipped them off in one fluid motion before turning around again and heading out the doors of West Valley High, home to the leopards and apparently home to jackasses too.