The Hopeless Romantic

I am a hopeless romantic. The feelings of a hopeless romantic are both complex and simplistic at the same time. Sometimes we can fall in love with someone we choose to love, others we don't choose. Hopeless romantics can be the most passionate people in the world, ready to give thier all to someone almost immediately, even though past trauma should speak volumes to them about doing so. I feel safe to say that hopeless romantics are often used for self worth and self gain to others; because they are so passionate and loving, people often see them as a chance to jumpstart thier own heart and feelings. Situations like this are rough for a hopeless romantic, as they are usually left behind when they soon get attached. The inability to make the heart let go of something it opened up to and yearned for is a dangerous game for a hopeless romantic. I'm currently writing this because I am in a situation such as this now. It's like a seeping pain in your chest corrupting everything inside, and only the words of that person relieve. Thoughts heavily burden the touch of feeling, and I don't want to cry out for help because of the wrought that may come to that person. So lonely, I sit so many things left unsaid scratching at my throat at the missed opportunities I had to say them. I think what might have changed if I said some things differently or if I really gave it my all in the end, or was I just used like I tried so hard not to believe. Did I deserve it, or was it just another page in my series of unfortunate events leading to the unbinding of myself. I guess it really is hard to see negative things through rose tinted glasses; at the same time I wonder if that really is the case. I scream hoping it releases the pain, the tears, the struggling, but it doesn't. It all stays seeping inside, deeper and deeper by the second. I always beg the question of why hopeless romantics such as I get treated this way. Is it because we can be good partners? Is it because everything we do is filled with passion? The answer more than likely varies. You offer to share your world with someone, offering a chance to live united and bonded, souls intertwined, but they steal your world and leave you with fragmented hopes. From those hopes you're forced to build what you can to scrape by until you have something whole again. You know what happened and you know the pain they brought you, but for some reason more than anything you just want one chance to talk with them again. I guess that's why the hopeless part of a romantic exists to plague them. Like a curse that is not easily disregarded. I guess this is the real struggle of being a hopeless romantic.