'Mistake.' (Johnnyboy)

Chapter 2 - Johnny's Pov;

Ponyboy Curtis. Oh, where do I start? He's got these beautiful greenish-gray eyes, that I could stare at for hours. Though he hates them, i think they're gorgeous. His hair is a dark, but not to dark, brown. Like a pretty brown. Not like my hair. He's kind, smart, and everything a girl would want in a guy. Or, in my case, a guy would want in a guy.

Well, not any guy. Just Ponyboy. He's so pretty, but mostly when he's talking about something he loves. Like, Sunsets, for example. I never understood them, until he explained them to me. He's a real astronomy nerd, too. He tells me about stars, and the moon. About sunrises, and sunsets.

He tells me about, how much he loves Sodapop, and how Steve can be a real jerk. I just let him talk, because I like listening to his voice, its sweet. Its soft, but not as soft as mine can be.

I get real nervous around him, but I try to hide it. I don't wanna come off as weird. And, especially not to him. I just, can't help it. He's so beautiful, and sweet, and kind, and beautiful. Did I say that already?

I don't understand why he don't have a girl yet. If he was into guys, then I would totally go for it, but I know he's got the hots for the Valance girl. Her name is Sherry, but everyone calls her Cherry, because of her hair.

Its a light-ish red, and she's got these pretty eyes. Sometimes I just wish her, and I, could switch bodies. So I could dump Bob, and go for Pony. Bob is her boyfriend, but he's a dirty Soc, that likes to kick up on us Greasers. I don't understand why they like to, but I guess its because they're rich and we ain't.

All of us try to avoid them at all costs, so we don't get hurt. Well, after that one accident. And, of course, it had to be me. The weakest one of the gang.

They found me at the lot, and it all went down hill. They cut me up, hit on me, kicked me, called me dirty names. It was horrific, and when it was over, I barley could stand.

I got this tuff looking scar though. So, I guess one good thing came out of that. I'm just glad I'm okay, because I don't know what that would do to Ponyboy.

He's told me so many times that if I wasn't here, he wouldn't know what to do. He's always gentle with me, and I'm actually happy with him. He's probably one of the first people I actually loved.

I liked him for, I don't know how long, but one day, I just started to think and look at him differently. I know its a Sin, but I can't help it. Its to hard to fight, and let me tell you, I've tried.

I've tried for hours, and I couldn't make it go away. Screaming into pillows, crying, smacking myself. I couldn't help it. It was to hard. I just wish I had the courage to tell him.. I just wish he felt the same way, about me too.

I was currently laying on the couch, with Ponyboy sleeping in the recliner. He had dragged me to his house that night, so I wouldn't freeze to death. Or, be alone, and get hurt.

I felt safe with him, though I had tried to fight him to go back. I didn't want to invade his space, but he wouldn't let go of my arm. He held onto it softly, but hard at the same time. It didn't hurt, but I couldn't pry it off, so soon enough, I just stopped.

But, soon enough, I know he's gonna get tired of me, and he's just gonna stop walking with me to the lot. He's gonna stop talking to me, and asking me to stay over. He's gonna stop worrying about me, and he's gonna get a girlfriend. They're gonna be in love, and I won't be able to do anything about it. Just like everyone else does. Just like my parents did.

Everyone stops worrying about me, and stops feeling sorry for me. I don't ask them to feel bad for me, but they do it anyway, and then they get tired of it, and leave. I don't mind them, taking a break from me, but I just wish they didn't have to leave me. I don't have many friends to begin with, and when the ones I have leave, I won't have anyone left.

I get snapped out of my thoughts, as I hear Ponyboy groan, and start to sit up. I was looking at him the whole time, and I didn't even notice it. What if he saw me? What if he was awake the whole time?

I quickly close my eyes, and act as if I'm sleeping. It was probably two in the morning, so I didn't want to look creepy just staring at him. And being awake this late? Even weirder.

Something falls onto the ground, but its not loud. It was probably his sweater or something. I hear shuffling, and the kitchen sink start to run. Okay, I don't think he saw me. I think I'm okay. I hear the faucet stop, and something get set on the table by me. It was probably water.

I slowly open my eyes, as I feel someone sit down beside me. Ponyboy, was looking around, and his eyes then met with mine. "Hey, Johnnycakes," He speaks softly, "I didn't mean to wake you." I fake yawn, and stretch.

"What are you doing?" I ask, in a whisper. "I was just gonna watch some TV. If you wanna go back to sleep, I won't." I shake my head, and start to sit up. "Have you.. Seen the remote?"

I look around, and see it sitting on the floor. Probably Two-bit. I pick it up, leaning down a bit, and hand it to him. My fingers slightly brush against his, and I jolt my hand away.

Wow, great going, pip squeak. He probably thinks you're a freak. He looks at me weird, then turns on the TV. It was some show, that I heard kids talking about. It came out last year, but I never actually watched it.

It was something about a rich guy, liking the one girl that he can't get. He can have all these other babes, but he goes for the one he can't have. Very original.

It was okay so far, I just don't think I could watch it again after this. Ponyboy looks like he's enjoying it, but then again, he usually enjoys anything he watches. Especially anything with Paul Newman in it. Though, he wasn't in this.

Pony really likes Paul Newman. Ever since we saw, 'Cool Hand Luke', he hasn't been able to stop talking about him. We saw the movie about six months ago, but he absolutely loves him. Yeah, he's okay of an actor, but I personally think Richard Burton is better.

If Ponyboy heard me say that out loud though, I would be in for a huge paragraph of how 'Paul Newman is better than everyone else.' Even if I like how much Ponyboy talks, and how pretty his voice sounds, I don't think I want to relive that paragraph.

One time, when I told him Ricky Nelson was better than The Beatles, he freaked out, and told me a whole speech, that lasted about two hours. I will never make that mistake again.