Something that was never meant to be...

In the happy atmosphere of Belmont, one person was grieving. It was the rich Venetian merchant, Antonio. One may think that it was ridiculous, he had been saved from the forfeiture and got back his wealth. What else could he desire for? The answer was love. Antonio considered himself a good and devoted Christian but he had swayed from his faith at just a single point – falling for his best kinsman.

The merchant had confessed his sin to God and begged for mercy but the feelings in his heart were too stubborn. He had hoped to die from the lawsuit – it had come as a relief for he would not have to be melancholic anymore over his unrequited love. But alas! Bassanio's wife had saved him in the guise of a man and he could not even look at her. What would she think of him if he said, "thank you for saving me, but allow me to steal your husband whom I am irrevocably in love with?"

Nay, his dead mother had raised him better than a house wrecker. So, he left the seat of love as soon as possible and returned back to Venice. Leaving Bassanio for the second time was not easy when all he wanted was to hold the man closer to his sinful heart. But Antonio consoled himself that it was for the greater good – Portia was everything Bassanio ever wanted in life and that he deserved better than a sinner.

In Venice, Antonio drowned himself in alcohol. He was never a happy drunk like Gratiano but the bitter liquid washing down his throat diverted his mind enough not to let it focus on a certain friend of his who was happy with his wife. Every night the merchant leant against the iron bars on his rooftop and talked to the moon, a bottle of wine clutched to his lap, hoping that Bassanio was somewhere on the other side, replying back to him. In the silence of the night with the gentle wind caressing his cheeks, tears would drop from his eyes profusely as he admitted his feelings to the moon – a very sick and selfish part of him hoping that they were reciprocated.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

My literature exam is on Tuesday and I am wasting away my time on writing this and crying after falling in love with the song "Talking to the Moon". The words are very relatable to me...