The first ever slay in recorded history was in 65 Million BC when the T-Rex barked at the meteor. The meteor was a major flop and proceeded to turn around at this dino diss track and flip its last flop straight onto Dino land (now known as Slaynation). Not only was this the first recorded slay in history, but unfortunately it was also the first recorded flop. This major seismic event in the yassification of civilisation taught us that all evil must have good and all slays must have flops to keep nature in balance.
The second recorded Slay in the time of the ancients was when Judas popped his bussy and betrayed his techno boy toy - Jesus Christ super star to the Romans. This resulted in Jesus being stabbed, crucified and reborn which maximised his slay in the long term as it kickstarted Christianity (see later pages for more info on the FLOP that is religion) and made him Kim Kardashian famous without having to participate in a sex tape - although rumours that the ancient christ smut scripts were discovered and preserved by Lady Gaga still remain to this day. As earlier stated, all slays must have their flops and therefore, Judas forever minimised his slay in the face of history by presenting himself as a rat and traitor (Alexa queue Olivia Rodrigo).
Since the beginning of christianity and before the largescale acceptance of Slaynation there is only one credible recorded slay in history. This is the birth of our Head of the Department of Slay - Ms Taylor Swift. Her great accomplishments include, writing 'All the Young Dudes' under the pseudonym MsKingBean89, writing 'My slays Ricochet' and taking down Head of the Department of Flop (of the Flop Lands) Kanye West.
Collectively, these 3 ancient Slays encouraged and inspired the birth of Slaynation and our civilisation could honestslay not have evolved into the thanos-level threat to the flops that it is today.
Honourable mentions - The homophobic Milly Bobby Brown running over James Charles, Bhad Bhabie singing 'Gucci Flip Flops', the rise/fall of Babylon and Mike's Mic's unhinged recap of Glee (stream now).
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(source A: the only photographic evidence of the ancient slays.)
